Posted at December 25, 2004 - 1:48 PM GMT
See Also: 'Maneuvers' Episode Guide
The Kazon take Chakotay. Inexplicably, Voyager takes him back.
Chakotay: Whatever Janeway wants, it better be good.
Torres: Well then, she certainly doesn't want you.
Chakotay: Ha! I'll be the focus of the next few episodes and you'll start to tense up.
Torres: (choking Chakotay) I do not tense up!
Chakotay: What's shaking?
Janeway: We're being hailed by a Starfleet signal.
Chakotay: Try to verify. Hit Star-69.
Paris: Maybe Starfleet has sent a probe to look for us!
Janeway: Oh, grow up, Paris! You're jumping to conclusions!
Tuvok: They're using a brand new Starfleet code.
Kim: They must be looking for us!
Janeway: Your optimism is infectuous!
Kim: The probe has drifted into a Hydrogen cloud.
Tuvok: They've opened fire!
Janeway: Starfleet sent a probe 75000 light years to kill us?
Tuvok: It's the Kazon.
Tuvok: They keep matching their weapons to our shields!
Chakotay: It's as if they know our access codes!
Tuvok: Perhaps we should change our access codes.
Janeway: No...too many forms to fill out.
Computer: Intruder Alert in Cargo Bay Two.
Tuvok: On my way!
Chakotay: Mr. Kim, did you re-route power to the transporter room?
Kim: I wouldn't even know how to do that.
Tuvok: The Kazon have beamed away and they took a transporter module.
Janeway: Lock on to the module and beam it back!
Tuvok: Kinda hard to beam something when we don't have a transporter module.
Janeway: Oh. Then activate a tractor beam.
Chakotay: Activating the John Deere model.
Culluh: Hello Captain!
Janeway: I remember you, Culluh.
Seska: Hello Chakotay.
Chakotay: I remember you, Culluh.
Seska: No, it's me...Seska.
Chakotay: Oh. Well, I should have known you were involved.
Seska: I should have known it would take you this long to figure it out.
Kim: They're neutralizing the tractor beam.
Seska: See ya, chumps!
Janeway: We have to go chase after the Kazon.
Neelix: Why? All they stole was a small computer component.
Janeway: Yeah, but they forgot to take you.
Chakotay: This is all my fault.
Torres: Don't tense up...chump.
Janeway: Computer...locate Commander Chakotay.
Computer: Commander Chakotay is not on board.
Janeway: He must have escaped in a shuttle. How did he get away with that?
Computer: Are you still talking to me?
Tuvok: This is all my fault.
Janeway: You better believe it is! From this day forward, I don't want another shuttlecraft stolen from this ship!
Tuvok: You can count on me!
Kazon: A transporter module? Whoopdie-friggin-do!
Seska: Lets just beam this guy back to his ship (wink wink).
Tuvok: There's some Kazon bodies just floating around.
Doc: These poor saps were beamed into space.
Neelix: And I don't think it was an accident...You see this insignia on the Kazon's arm?
Neelix: Quite a fashion statement, I think.
Seska: I spoke to the other Kazon sects. They're going to meet with us.
Culluh: How dare you! You are a woman!
Seska: Well, I used 10-10-220. Saved a buck or two.
Culluh: You will call me Maj!
Seska: I saved a buck or two...Maj.
Chakotay: I'm approaching Seska's ship. Computer...Shut down all power systems.
Computer: Power systems disengaged.
Chakotay: Now manuever us in range to steal the transporter module.
Computer: Kinda hard when all the power has been shut down.
Seska: Its a shuttle...Its Chakotay! FIRE! I mean, please fire, Maj.
Culluh: He's not on the shuttle.
Chakotay: I'm right here! Lovely to see you again.
Tuvok: There's a message beacon from Chakotay.
Chakotay: Don't come looking for me. Its likely that I'm already dead.
Janeway: Okay then. Resume a course for home.
Torres: We have to rescue him. He's our first officer!
Janeway: Agreed...he's also due for a butt-kicking.
Kazon: I'm not gonna help you defeat Voyager.
Culluh: Come on...it'll be a cakewalk. I have all of Voyager's command codes!
Kazon: Then why do you need us?
Seska: There's a ship approaching...it's Voyager!
Kazon: What are you waiting for? Use the command codes!
Culluh: Who said I had the command codes?
Janeway: Can you beam Chakotay out or not?
Torres: Well, he's not on board, so what do you think? He's trapped behind a force field.
Janeway: Just how big is that force field?
Torres: Just big enough to hide Chakotay from us...why?
Janeway: I'm into trivia.
Kazon: I've had it up to here with you, Culluh.
(The Kazon are beamed aboard Voyager)
Tuvok: Give us back Chakotay, and we'll let you go.
Culluh: Throw in Voyager's command codes and you've got a deal.
Kazon: I will make you very sorry for this.
Culluh: Hey, I'm not the fool who fell for the old "I got the command codes" bit.
Captain's Log: I'm gonna kick Chakotay's butt!
Chakotay: I'm sorry. I thought it was best.
Janeway: You've made my job more difficult.
Chakotay: Then my mission hasn't been a complete failure.
Tuvok: We found another beacon...a message from Seska.
Seska: You're going to be a father!
Chakotay: I couldn't have been that drunk!
Janeway: Then how did she impregnate herself? Wait...I don't think I want to know.
(Voyager blasts off at Ludicrous Speed)
Cureboy is one of the contributors of Five-Minute Voyager, where sci-fi episodes are reduced to "fivers" of one-twelfth their original length.