The City on the Edge of ForeverBy IJD GAF
Posted at December 25, 2004 - 9:41 PM GMT
See Also: 'The City on the Edge of Forever' Episode Guide
Kirk: Time displacements, time displacements, la la la la la la....
Kirk: Uh oh, better give him some potentially lethal cordrazine.
McCoy: I'm on it. Injecting, injecting, la la la la--GAK! KILL KILL KILL! Ooh, a blueshirt....
McCoy: Transporter theft, transporter theft, la la la la la la....
Redshirt: Wha--? GAK!
McCoy: This is just too easy.
Spock: Records indicate that cordrazine causes rampant paranoia, and in severe cases, may cause the victim to think that he is Jon Bon Jovi.
Kirk: That's horrible! If only we knew where he was.
Spock: My money's on the transporter room. All nefarious people go there.
Kirk: The transporter room, eh? What could he possibly be doing there?
Spock: Sigh...we're leaving.
Kirk: Look, a geode!
Scotty: A what?
Guardian of Forever: Ooh, a question!
Kirk: Do you only answer questions?
Guardian: Of course. Who answers answers?
Kirk: Could you stop with the sarcasm and start giving us a plot already?
Uhura: Now you've done it, the Enterprise disappeared!
Guardian: Erm, uh...did I mention that I'm a time portal?
Spock: Nobody asked you a question that time.
Captain's Log: There's no Enterprise, and we're stuck here. Wait a minute, what am I making this log entry on?
Kirk: ....so then our pack of aardvarks, with the two redshirts acting as human shields, will saunter in and--
Spock: Why don't we just jump through the Guardian of Forever and look for McCoy in the past?
Kirk: Sigh...you're no fun. All right, in we go!
Spock & Kirk: Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeee--
Spock & Kirk: --eeeeeeeeeee!
Spock: It seems that we've landed in the Great Depression.
Kirk: Depression? Nah, just a bad day.
Spock: I meant that we're in the 1930's.
Kirk: Oh. Wait a minute, there weren't Vulcans in the thirties....
Spock: I think you're starting to see our problem.
Kirk: Stealing, stealing, la la la la la la....
Spock: Me? Oh, I'm Chinese. Continue, Jim.
Policeman: You're under arrest, stupid.
Kirk: Oh, I get it. Well, the only problem I see is that GIANT DIVERSION OVER THERE!
Policeman: Wha--? ...Aww.
Edith Keeler: Hi, I'm the beautiful and kind Edith Keeler.
Kirk: Hi, I'm the handsome yet mysterious Jim Kirk.
Edith: Tee hee!
Spock: I'll just be over here....
Edith: Listen up, bums. In the future, we'll be able to explore space and stuff.
Kirk: Wow, she's talking about us!
Spock: I believe she just called us bums.
Edith: You know, I think I could find you a place to sleep.
Edith: How about my apartment....
Kirk: Sounds good.
Kirk: Err, I mean...rats.
Edith: You two are wierd.
Kirk: Who cares? You're female. Let's go for a walk or something.
Edith: Ooh, giggle....
Spock: Again, I'll just be here if you need me.
Spock: Hypothetical situation; suppose your girlfriend is either going to die or confer with FDR. You must decide which of those two choices will set the future right. Which one do you choose?
Kirk: Well, FDR was a known womanizer, so I'd have to choose between letting her die or losing her to FDR...tough decision. Why do you ask?
Spock: Well...never mind, I'll tell you later.
Hobo: Are you crazy or just drunk?
McCoy: Are you an alien or just a hallucination?
McCoy: I'm gonna pass out, so feel free to steal my phaser.
Hobo: Gee, thanks! --GAK!
Kirk: Status report.
Spock: It's gonna take a while to get the computer working again, McCoy could've been here a week or longer... and oh yeah, we might have to kill your girlfriend to correct history.
Kirk: Hey, I thought that was only hypothetical!
McCoy: mumble My life mumble now or never mumble mumble
Edith: Oh my god! Who do you think you are, Bon Jovi? We better get you to a cot!
Spock: So here's the rundown: Germany won World War 2 because the United States never entered it, because of a pacifist movement started by your girlfriend. We'll have to kill her to make Earth peaceful.
Kirk: But I love her!
Spock: Edith Keeler must die!
Kirk: Are you confusing "logical" with "homicidal" again?
McCoy: Wow, I'm feeling conscious and sane!
Edith: You're on 1930s Earth.
McCoy: Hey, stop bursting my bubble like that!
Edith: Wow, I could've died falling down those stairs had you not been there to catch me. How lucky! Anyway, goodnight.
Kirk: Goodnight.... ( as soon as she's left ) ....Spock, you pushed her, didn't you?
Spock: Heheheh-- what makes you say that?
Edith: La la -- oh, did I tell you about Doctor McCoy?
Kirk: You know Doctor McCoy? Stay here. And by "stay here" I mean "wander into traffic."
Edith: Giggle. Okay.
McCoy: Doo dee doo...Hi Spock. Hi Kirk. Hi Edith. Hi truck. Wait, truck? Noooooooooooooo--
Kirk: Spock, this is hard enough WITHOUT you paying off the driver.
Spock: Sorry, Jim.
Scotty: So, did you set time right?
Guardian: They chose -- wisely.
Kirk: Just get us the hell out of here.
Kirk: Quiet, you. Maybe if you're lucky we can give you a cameo in a TAS episode -- with James Doohan doing your voice.
(The landing party beams up at Ludicrous Speed)
IJD GAF is one of the contributors of Five-Minute Voyager, where sci-fi episodes are reduced to "fivers" of one-twelfth their original length.