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Time Squared

By Marc Richard
Posted at December 25, 2004 - 5:15 PM GMT

See Also: 'Time Squared' Episode Guide

La Forge: Uh...frankly, it tastes terrible.
Riker: When I cooked eggs for my father I always made them this way.
Pulaski: Why did you cook for a man you've always hated so much?
Riker: It was a way to get even with him.

Picard: (over the comm) Picard to Shuttlebay Two. Status report.
Riker: We've just recovered that drifting shuttlepod we found.
Picard: So tell me who's inside it. I'm beside myself with curiosity.
Riker: Funny you should put it that way, sir.

Troi: I'm not sure what I'm feeling and I'm not sure how to phrase it but I'm sure he's you.
Picard: Doctor, what's your opinion?
Pulaski: It's all very confusing.
Picard: Your tricorder readings?
Pulaski: No, her explanation.

Riker: Sir, notice these dark smudges on the shuttle's hull?
Picard: They look like residue from an out-of-range antimatter explosion.
Riker: They look like plain old soot stains to me.
Picard: Now you know why I get paid more than you do.

Pulaski: I still haven't figured out where your duplicate came from, sir.
Troi: Could he be some sort of Romulan clone of the Captain?
Picard: I want plausible hypotheses, not ridiculous speculation!
La Forge: (over the comm) Sir, the other you is from six hours in the future.
Picard: Okay, that I'll buy.

La Forge: We've discovered that the Captain will abandon the Enterprise just before we get destroyed.
Worf: How dare you accuse him of such cowardice?
La Forge: Listen to this entry from the shuttle's log.
Recorded Voice: And I only am escaped alone to tell thee....
Riker: How do we know that's really the Captain?
Data: It is a quotation from Moby Dick.
Riker: Oh.

Worf: Is it possible that we are stuck in a cause-and-effect loop where we keep blowing up over and over again?
La Forge: Nah. If we were, we'd be experiencing dj vu. That hasn't occured yet.
Picard: Well, either way, we must avoid repeating the fatal mistake we're going to make.
Troi: And the Doctor says that my explanations are confusing?

Pulaski: If the stress of this situation impairs the Captain's judgment, I'll have to relieve him of command.
Troi: And just where will we get a replacement for him?
Pulaski: Right here in this Sickbay, of course.
Troi: Forget it. I'm still studying for my Basic Helm Certification exams.

Worf: A temporal vortex has just opened below the Enterprise!
Picard: Are any obsolete Federation starships emerging from it?
Worf: No, this vortex pulls the other way.
Riker: Good. Uh -- no, wait a minute....

Picard: This vortex is sentient and it wants me.
Riker: What makes you say that?
Picard: (hurled into a bulkhead) Ooof!
Riker: Geordi, did you forget to put anti-static spray on the carpets?

Picard: I must get to the Shuttlebay!
Picard: No. Only a fool would fly into that vortex.
Picard: Speak for yourself.
Picard: That's what I'm doing!

Picard: There has to be another option. Tell me what it is!
Picard: Can't you figure it out on your own?
Picard: No.
Picard: Must I do everything around here?

Picard: Stop! Don't get into that shuttle!
(Picard shoots Picard with a phaser)
Picard: Boy, do I hope that the right one of us is still alive....

Pulaski: The Captain is dead.
O'Brien: Does that mean we all move up in rank?

Picard: Set course for the centre of the vortex!
Data: Course set. (WHOOSH!) We are now free of the phenomenon.
Riker: Congratulations, sir. It worked.
Picard: Thank goodness. If it hadn't, I never would have been able to face myself again.
(The Enterprise sails away at Ludicrous Speed)


Find more episode info in the Episode Guide.

Marc Richard is one of the contributors of Five-Minute Voyager, where sci-fi episodes are reduced to "fivers" of one-twelfth their original length.

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