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November 2 2024

TrekToday

An archive of Star Trek News

Heart of Glory

By Marc Richard
Posted at December 25, 2004 - 5:10 PM GMT

See Also: 'Heart of Glory' Episode Guide

Picard: (over the comm) Geordi, can you interpret the images your VISOR is sending to us? All we can make out is a jumble of colours.
La Forge: Of course. What I'm seeing are propagating stress harmonics in the metal bulkhead. They suggest that this ship is about to break up.
Data: So does the flashing "hull breach imminent" message on that big monitor screen in front of us.

Riker: Captain, you won't believe who we found over here.
Korris: You insult our honour by speaking about us in the third person, you human p'taK!
Picard: (over the comm) Um, let me guess....

Picard: You say a Ferengi warship attacked the old civilian freighter on which you were travelling?
Korris: Yes, but the three of us easily destroyed their vessel.
Picard: Armed with just two bat'leths and one d'k tagh?
Konmel: As adversaries, the Ferengi are not very worthy.

Worf: Our replicators can produce Klingon food.
Konmel: Including traditional dishes? Good!
Korris: Computer, raw heart of human in gladst sauce!
Computer: "Heart of human" may only be served roasted, charbroiled or fried.
Korris: Yech! Cancel order! A true warrior does not eat baby food!

Klingons: GrrrRAAAWWWRRROWRRR!
Crusher: Was that the legendary Klingon Death Howl?
Picard: Yes, it lets the afterworld know that a Klingon warrior is on his way.
Riker: (over the comm) Riker to Sickbay...what the hell was that noise?
Worf: Nothing, Fek'l-- I mean, sir.

Worf: What were you really doing on that freighter?
Korris: The peace treaty with the Federation has changed our people into gutless cattle!
Konmel: We turn our backs on confusion and seek the beginning!
Korris: And together we shall build a world such as this galaxy has never seen!
Worf: A world of perpetual warfare and bloodshed?
Konmel: We call it "Eden."

K'Nera: (over the comm) My ship is here to take the three renegade Klingons into custody.
Picard: One of them has died.
K'Nera: Make it two then.
Picard: We shall turn them over to you as soon as you arrive.
Riker: Sir, what if Worf doesn't accept your decision?
Picard: Commander K'Nera, stand by to revise your total back upward.

Yar: Worf, step aside! We have orders to arrest them.
Korris: She and her companions wear the colour of cowardice!
Konmel: Whereas you wear the colour of blood, Worf! You belong with us!
Worf: In the brig? I think not.
Korris: Traitor! Sheep! Peacenik!
Worf: I have heard worse insults before.
Konmel: Vulcan!
Worf: But not that one yet!

K'Nera: (over the comm) The renegades must be executed in disgrace.
Worf: It would be more honourable for them to be torn to shreds and eaten alive by wild beasts on a savage planet!
K'Nera: Living among humans has given you a soft heart, Worf.

K'Nera: (over the comm) My troops are ready to assist you in recapturing the prisoners.
Picard: Thank you, but that won't be necessary. Only Korris is still alive.
K'Nera: An armed Klingon warrior is no match for you.
Yar: We can handle him by ourselves.
K'Nera: Oh? You mean the way your guards let him break out of prison using a belt buckle?

Korris: Join me, Worf, or I will fire into the warp core!
Worf: Your dreams of glory are misguided. Climb down and surrender!
Korris: No! My heart is Klingon!
Worf: An excellent place to aim.
(ZAP!)
Korris: ARRRGGGHHH!
(THUD!)
Worf: GrrrRAAAWWWRRROWRRR!
Riker: (over the comm) Riker to Engineering...I'm hearing those noises again.

Picard: Korris is dead.
K'Nera: (over the comm) How did he die?
Worf: He died well -- with a thud rather than a splat.
K'Nera: Good for him.

Riker: Would you ever consider a tour of duty on a Klingon vessel?
Worf: That is unlikely to happen. I like being the only Klingon serving on a Federation ship.
Riker: If our roles were reversed, I'm sure I'd feel the same way.
Picard: Gentlemen, may we please stop discussing these hypothetical scenarios and get on with our work?
(The Enterprise sails away at Ludicrous Speed)

THE END

Find more episode info in the Episode Guide.


Marc Richard is one of the contributors of Five-Minute Voyager, where sci-fi episodes are reduced to "fivers" of one-twelfth their original length.

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