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June 15 2024


An archive of Star Trek News

Galaxy's Child

By Marc Richard
Posted at December 25, 2004 - 5:30 PM GMT

See Also: 'Galaxy's Child' Episode Guide

La Forge: She's welcome to it, sir.

Transporter Technician: Ready to beam over the woman of your dreams, sir.
La Forge: Good. Energize.
Leah: (after materializing) I demand to see the idiot who messed up my engine designs!
La Forge: (to technician) Are you sure that thing's working properly? What fantasy-to-reality ratio did you use in the integrator circuits?
Technician: The standard 0-to-100 intermix. Why do you ask?

Leah: Your engineering procedures don't conform to my theoretical specifications!
La Forge: I improved them based on practical working experience!
Leah: Are you implying that speculation doesn't always agree with reality?
La Forge: Yes, but that doesn't mean I'm happy about it.

Riker: Is that a spacegoing lifeform orbiting the planet up ahead?
Data: Yes, sir. Such a phenomenon has never been seen before.
Picard: It reminds me of the spacecraft-creature we discovered at Beta Stromgren last year.
Riker: And of the interstellar jellyfish we found at Deneb IV on stardate....
Data: I meant "before we started our first mission," sir.
Riker: Oh. My mistake.

Worf: The creature has immobilized us and is bombarding us with radiation!
Picard: We have to startle it into letting us go, but without harming it. Set phasers on "wedgie" and fire!
Worf: Direct hit. The creature is dead, sir.
Picard: Dead? How is that possible?
Riker: Have you ever experienced a Klingon wedgie, sir?

Leah: People often find me cold, cerebral and humourless. They say I'd make a good hologram.
La Forge: On the grounds of possible self-incrimination, I'm not going to comment on that.

Data: A baby creature is still alive inside the dead parent organism.
Crusher: Let's try to free it by cesarean section.
Worf: An excellent idea. I will set the phasers at once.
Crusher: Maybe you should let me do it this time, Mr. Hamfist.

La Forge: I have to confess that I'm a secret admirer of yours.
Leah: Why didn't you tell me this before now?
La Forge: Because what people don't know can't hurt them.
Leah: That's what my husband always says.
La Forge: Ouch!

Worf: The newborn infant is following the Enterprise!
Troi: Perhaps it thinks the ship is its parent.
Picard: Very likely. Something similar once happened to the U.S.S. Konrad Lorenz.

Data: The creature has fastened itself to our hull and is draining power from the ship.
Picard: How will we get rid of it?
La Forge: I'll see if Dr. Brahms has any ideas. She's an expert at breaking attachments.

La Forge: Where's Dr. Brahms?
Ensign Pavlick: On Holodeck Three running your Utopia Planitia drafting room program. Is that a problem?
La Forge: Are you kidding? I'm three months behind on my life insurance policy payments!

Holo-Leah: And when we got to the kissing part....
La Forge: (running into the Holodeck) This isn't what it looks like!
Leah: Like hell it isn't! (to Holo-Leah) Finish what you were saying!
Holo-Leah: ...Geordi said that he'll always remember sharing Utopia with me.
La Forge: I was talking about the drafting room! Honest!

Picard: (over the comm) Engineering, some adult space creatures are approaching. You have ten minutes to pry the infant off the ship!
Leah: Let's call a truce and work together. Is there a way we could make our power unpalatable to the infant?
La Forge: Let me think. I've got it! We could do it by changing the power frequency!
Leah: Oh, you're good, Geordi.
La Forge: Mmmh...I always love it when you say that. I mean, I've always wanted to hear you say that! Honest!

Picard: (over the comm) Congratulations, Mr. La Forge. The infant has decided to let go and is moving on.
La Forge: Sigh. I know the feeling.

Leah: I'm glad we're friends now.
La Forge: Me too. When you next speak to your husband, though, could you sorta not mention my fantasies about you?
Leah: Oh, he wouldn't mind. In a way, he's to blame for all of this.
La Forge: Why do you say that?
Leah: Who do you think was the chief designer for your ship's Holodecks?
(La Forge's ego deflates at Ludicrous Speed)


Find more episode info in the Episode Guide.

Marc Richard is one of the contributors of Five-Minute Voyager, where sci-fi episodes are reduced to "fivers" of one-twelfth their original length.

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