Booby Trap

By Marc Richard
Posted at December 25, 2004 - 5:19 PM GMT

See Also: 'Booby Trap' Episode Guide

Wesley: This debris field is all that's left of those two ancient civilizations?
Data: (switches several chess pieces while Wes is looking out the window) Yes. Checkmate.

Riker: Data, decode the signal coming from that derelict warship.
Data: It says: "Abandon all hope ye who enter here."
Picard: Must be a translation error. I'm beaming over there.

Riker: Sir, it's my duty to go on these hazardous missions for you.
Picard: If I die on one, you'll get to replace me as Captain.
Riker: Have a good trip.

Worf: Those lucky devils died at their posts. I hope we will too.
Picard: I'll arrange for it as soon as I can.
Worf: Thank you.

Guinan: How did your date with Christi go?
La Forge: It was a flop. She said I'm a klutz with women.
Guinan: Maybe you'd have better luck with those twin cadets who came aboard last week.
La Forge: The Delaney sisters? Hmm....

Picard: The alien captain's last log entry praised his dying crew.
Riker: Any idea what killed them?
Data: Uh...perhaps the lethal radiation field that has just surrounded us.
Worf: Excellent.
Riker: So who are you gonna praise first, sir?

Picard: How long do we have before our shields fail?
La Forge: Just three hours.
Riker: I hope you've started working on that speech, sir.

La Forge: Computer, I need a little engine room simulation.
(An engine room and a naked Leah Brahms appear on the Holodeck)
La Forge: Whoa! Computer, I said simulation, not "stimulation."

Leah: Greetings Commander La Forge. I am Dr. Brahms.
La Forge: Computer, make her more realistic.
Leah: Hi Geordi! I'm Leah! I bet you're a real klutz with women.
La Forge: Computer, on second thought....

La Forge: Leah, is there a way for us to generate more energy?
Leah: Take off your clothes.
La Forge: I meant for the shields.

Leah: A lot of me is in here.
La Forge: Inside any particular panel?

Picard: You've been romancing a holographic woman in the middle of a crisis?
La Forge: Hey, it works for Barclay.

La Forge: Let's escape by using plain old thrusters.
Picard: Why didn't we think of that? Geordi, you're a genius.
Riker: Either that or the rest of us are morons.

La Forge: I hope I can meet the real you someday.
Leah: I hope I can meet the real me someday too.
La Forge: If that happens, could you sorta not mention the kissing part?
Leah: Why not? I'd love to see the look on my face when I do.
La Forge: Computer, end program and replicate me some aspirin.
(The Enterprise sails away at Ludicrous Speed)


Find more episode info in the Episode Guide.

Marc Richard is one of the contributors of Five-Minute Voyager, where sci-fi episodes are reduced to "fivers" of one-twelfth their original length.