Broken Link

By Derek Dean
Posted at December 25, 2004 - 4:13 PM GMT

See Also: 'Broken Link' Episode Guide

Odo: Did someone report a crime?
Garak: I did. Aroya here said you've stolen her heart.
Aroya: And I don't have a crime to report, but I can think of something else I'd like to do with your handcuffs.
Odo: Uh... you're scaring me.
Aroya: You say that, but you're like putty in my hands.
Odo: More like goo really. Gak.

Odo: So what's wrong with me?
Bashir: Well, you're strict, overbearing, distant, --
Odo: So what's wrong with me medically?
Bashir: Oh, well, here's a picture of you from before, and here's a picture of you now.
Odo: That's a picture of a raccoon, and the other is a picture of the sludge monster.
Bashir: Of course it is.
Odo: I think I want a second opinion.
Bashir: Well, you're strict, overbearing, distant, --
Odo: Sigh.

Gowron: (over the comm) We need breathing room.
Worf: Earth, Hitler, 1938.
Sisko: I think he's just looking for the opportunity to seize more land.
Kira: AH-CHOO!
Sisko: Seize, not sneeze.

Kira: Here's the list of scum on board the station.
Odo: Quark's name is on this twenty times.
Kira: Yeah, he's slipping.

Rionoj: Quick, let's get this contraband off the station before Odo catches us and says --
Odo: You're under arrest!
Rionoj: (sobbing) I give up! I promise I'll never steal another thing ever!
Odo: Geez, pull yourself together. Gak!
Rionoj: Speak for yourself.

Odo: I'm getting worse.
Bashir: I wouldn't say that.
Odo: What would you say?
Bashir: I'd say "You're getting worse."
Odo: (rolling eyes) My mistake.

Sisko: So let me get this straight. You're proposing we go to the Dominion, find a Founder, bring them to Odo, and hope they tell Odo's disease what to do with itself?
Bashir: That's the general idea.
Sisko: That's crazy!
Bashir: If you have a better idea, now's the time.
Sisko: Maybe we could attempt ... time warp.
Bashir: No, a better idea.

Garak: Can I come along with you to meet the Founders?
Sisko: Promise you won't try to kill them?
Garak: I promise you won't try to kill them.
Sisko: Good.

Garak: ...and so that's when I told the Hansens about the Borg.
Odo: That's impossible. No one knew about the Borg back then.
Garak: Well, at least they didn't go with their original plan.
Odo: What was that?
Garak: To have two more kids and have them form a singing group.
Odo: Ugh. I feel sick.

Jadzia: The Jem'Hadar want to beam over.
Sisko: Request denied.
Transporter: WHOOSH
Sisko: No one ever listens to me.
Female Shapeshifter: Huh? Did you say something?

Female Shapeshifter: Hey, Odo. How are you doing?
Odo: Well, I'm at my melting point. Or is it my freezing point?
Female Shapeshifter: I wouldn't worry about it. You're probably just going through a phase.
Odo: Think you can help me out?
Female Shapeshifter: You're not carrying any other diseases I should know about, are you?
Odo: None I know of.

Female Shapeshifter: I hear you killed another shapeshifter.
Odo: That was a whole year ago and you're just now approaching me about this?
Female Shapeshifter: Our legal system is as slow as molasses. Looks a lot like molasses too.

Garak: Speaking of events from a year ago, whatever happened to those Cardassian ships we sent your way?
Female Shapeshifter: Cardassians? What Cardassians?
Garak: Just tell me what happened to them.
Female Shapeshifter: Over my dead body.
Garak: As you wish.

Female Shapeshifter: Care to go for a swim with your species?
Odo: Does that make this the gene pool?
Female Shapeshifter: If you want to be acquitted, you need to stop making bad jokes.
Odo: Sorry. I didn't mean to get in over my head.
Female Shapeshifter: Grrr.

Worf: You have shown the first sign of betrayal so I must kill you. But I promise to leave your body intact.
Garak: I assume that's a joke?
Worf: We will see.

Odo: Splat.
Bashir: Splat?
Female Shapeshifter: Yeah, he's human now. Ha ha.
Sisko: For how long?
Female Shapeshifter: Forever.... Or six months.... Whichever comes first.

Garak: Here is your police uniform.
Odo: Here is your prisoner uniform.
Garak: But I don't want to be in prison.
Odo: Don't worry, I'm sure you'll get out early.

Gowron: (over the comm) We are annexing Poland.
Sisko: Poland's on Earth.
Gowron: Whatever. Prepare for war. By the way, I am definitely not a shapeshifter.
Odo: I don't believe him.
Sisko: Phew. Then we're not going to war?
Odo: No, stupid. I mean, he is a shapeshifter!
All: Gasp!
(The season ends suspensfully at Ludicrous Speed. Or is that ludicrously at Suspensful Speed?)


Find more episode info in the Episode Guide.

Derek Dean is one of the contributors of Five-Minute Voyager, where sci-fi episodes are reduced to "fivers" of one-twelfth their original length.