Galaxy Ball Report

By Amy
October 21, 2000 - 2:18 PM have posted their own in-depth Galaxy ball report. The Ball, hosted annually by Robert Beltran (Chakotay), was held on last Saturday to benefit Down Syndrome Association of Los Angeles, and was attended by a number of Star Trek familiars including Jonathan Frakes (Riker) and Michael Dorn (Worf) of the Next Generation, the male compliment of the Voyager cast (Ethan Phillips (Neelix), Tim Russ (Tuvok), Garrett Wang (Harry Kim), Robert Picardo (The Doctor) and Robert Duncan McNeill (Tom Paris)) and, representing the women, Roxann Dawson.

Frakes and Dorn kicked off the day with a song 'Volare' and then by poking fun at "their fellow cast members, particularly "the bald guy," as Frakes affectionately called his captain". Frakes in particular fondly recalled an incident where the ship was under attack and the actors had to act as though they were being thrown around: "We're getting slaughtered by phaser fire outside the ship... and in the middle of it all I hear—" He said before starting "his Patrick Stewart impersonation: "'Oh Jonathan... Oh Jonathan... Twenty-five years in the Royal Shakespeare Company for this!"". Dorn also had a go at Stewart over an attractive female guest-star the once had - She actually was not the best actress on the show, but a very lovely girl, and I said, 'Oh, Patrick, I really like this girl.' And he says, 'Oh, Michael, no.' I said, 'What?' He says..." — as Dorn mimics Stewart's British accent — "She may be beautiful, but her non-talent is monolithic."

The TNG duo were followed by the Voyager boys – or, more accurately, "Garrett and the Three Roberts" who started off by impersonating each other's characters - McNeil beginning with Harry: "Here's Garrett back at his little station: 'Caaptainnnn — there's a ship coming in on sensors Caaptainnnn!'", followed by Beltran who "did the Doctor, first by making a Picardo face, then by quoting the line, "Just remember Kes, anybody can stargaze on the bridge, but the real action will always be in Sickbay." to which Picardo "responded by doing his impression of Beltran forgetting his lines: "Captain, there's a... Aw, ****, what is it? What is it?". Wang, the cast's infamous impersonator, did Kate Mulgrwew as Arachnia, Queen of the Spider People, saying in a squeaky voice, "Chaotica, where are you? I am the Spider Queen." before doing "his Tom Paris, Chakotay, the Doctor and Neelix" impersonations.

Later in the evening saw the Voyager cast again take to the stage, this time separately. Tim Russ, backed by Neil Norman and his Cosmic Orchestra, started off and was later followed by Robert Duncan McNeill who, despite a cold, "put on an energetic show covering songs such as Steve Miller's "Fly Like an Eagle" and Elton John's "Don't Let The Sun Go Down On Me." Ehtan Phillips followed with a stand-up rountine that saw him make cracks at the expense of his fellow cast members ("My friend Bob Picardo over there — I'm not saying he's bald, but he's one of the few people you can see from outer space") before Roxann Dawson took to the stage and "began the portion of the evening devoted to Star Trek-related song parodies. First she sang "Lion Tamer," a sweet, old-fashioned ballad about an insecure girl "not at all like B'Elanna," she said. But then she sang the song again, replacing "I'd like to be a Lion Tamer" with "I'd like to be B'Elanna Torres," and had other altered lyrics such as "I like the way she beats up aliens" and "If I could be B'Elanna Torres, I'd get Tom Paris too." Robert Picardo was next up as the cast member best-known for his song-parodys, and he didn't disappoint, starting with an impassioned spoof of the old Tennessee Ernie Ford folk tune 'Sixteen Tons' on what it's like to be a Voyager cast member before "bringing out lifesize stand-up figures of Seven of Nine, Captain Janeway and B'Elanna Torres, and announc[ing], "In the spirit of political incorrectness that characterizes any event that Robert Beltran is associated with, I thought I would sing my homage to the three women of Voyager." He then belted out the Tom Jones classic "What's New Pussycat" with new lyrics: "Pussycat, pussycat, you're called Seven, and I'm in heaven when you're around. Please let me doctor those implants and optic node..." To Janeway he crooned: "Pussycat, pussycat, you're demanding and so commanding with those four pips. Beat back that Borg attack and I'll rub your lovely back..." And to Torres: "Pussycat, pussycat, you're half-Klingon, I love that thing-on your forehead dear...". As the host, Beltran was last up, setting a romantic mood with such songs as Elton John's 'Your Song' before turning the floor over to his brother, Louie Cruz Beltran, and his orchestra.

The Galaxy Ball this year can certainly be viewed as a success, raising well over the $13000 taken last year, $18000 alone coming from a tour of the Voyager set and "the Galaxy Ball shirts that the six Voyager men had been wearing all day and promised to autograph".

For the full report, which includes several photos, click here to get to

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