Think TankBy Kira
Posted at December 25, 2004 - 2:38 PM GMT
See Also: 'Think Tank' Episode Guide
Alien: It seems the minerals that you wanted were conveniently destroyed.
Kurros: Oh, how conveeeeenient.
Alien: Yeah, that's what I just said.
Kurros: Uhh...right. I guess we'll just have to blow up your planet.
Alien: But you'll blow up the minerals that we're hiding from...oh, rats.
Seven: Captain, I'd like to report an opportunity for reckless endangerment of the ship.
Janeway: Sounds good.
Janeway: Scan that booby trap -- I mean, planet.
Chakotay: Why does that sign say "caution -- explosive"?
Janeway: That's not important, you fool. Now shut up and scan the planet.
Hazari: Hi! We're the stubborn threatening aliens of the week.
Hazari: We're bounty hunters.
Chakotay: Sweet! Can we call you Boba Fett?
Hazari: No! We're going to get you for that.
Janeway: Tuvok, fire phasers.
Tuvok: Captain, that would ignite the gas cloud.
Janeway: Do it anyways.
Tuvok: The gas cloud that we're inside right now.
Janeway: What part of "fire" did you misunderstand?
(The gas cloud explodes and Voyager escapes)
Janeway: Ha! In your face, Tuvok!
Neelix: What makes you think these are Hazari traps?
Janeway: See? It says right there -- "Hazari trap."
Neelix: I see your dilemma.
Kurros: We could help you.
Janeway: I'll think about it.
Kurros: Blech! This coffee tastes awful.
Janeway: Get off my ship.
Kurros: We're really not asking for much...just your resident Borg genius.
Janeway: What do you want with Seven?
Kurros: We're all J/Cers. We've seen the future, so we're going to stop C/7 before it starts.
Janeway: Did you say C/7? That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard.
Kurros: Yeah, that's what we said.
Kurros: Come with us.
Seven: Bite me.
Kurros: Don't underestimate the power of the dark side.
Seven: Say what?
Kurros: Sorry. That Boba Fett reference threw me off.
Janeway: You should help us. Kurros tricked you.
Hazari: Bite me.
Janeway: They want to take Seven off the ship.
Hazari: What? We're all D/7ers -- we'll see about that.
Janeway: Well, people, we have to outhink the Think Tank -- not because we can, but because it's a cool catch phrase.
Chakotay: Hopefully this will work better than when we tried to out-Ferengi the Ferengi.
Janeway: Shut up and help me think up a plan.
Staff: Think, think, think....
Janeway: You don't have to say it out loud, morons.
Torres: We could just give them Seven.
Janeway: I like it.
Seven: Or...we could risk the entire ship in an elaborate deception.
Janeway: Oo! I like that one better.
Tuvok: Seven is leaving the ship.
Chaktotay, Kim, and Doc: Awww!
Janeway: Um...this was part of our plan.
Chakotay, Kim, and Doc: Oh, right. Whew.
Seven: I've decided to leave Voyager. Now let me access your link thingy.
Kurros: Okay, as long as you don't sabatoge it.
Seven: No deal! Yoink!
Kurros: Why don't you want to stay with us?
Seven: It's not you, it's me.
Kurros: Hey! That's my bit.
Seven: Wrong show.
Kurros: Oh, right. Sorry.
Kurros: Little help?
Janeway: What are you afraid of if you're so smart?
Kurros: Are you kidding? There's no force in the known universe that has a chance against a 'shipper scorned. Those Hazari D/7ers are ruthless.
Janeway: Watch me not care.
Kurros: I wouldn't do this if I were you. What about C/7?
Chakotay: That's a risk I'm willing to take.
(Kurros gets pounded at Ludicrous Speed)
Kira is one of the contributors of Five-Minute Voyager, where sci-fi episodes are reduced to "fivers" of one-twelfth their original length.