Posted at December 25, 2004 - 1:36 PM GMT
See Also: 'Phage' Episode Guide
Janeway: You're cooking now, Neelix? Next thing we know you'll be the morale officer.
Neelix: Morale officer, eh? The potential to annoy people would be astounding....
Neelix: Oo! Oo! Can I come on the away mission?
Chakotay: Fine, as long as you don't foolishly run off and get attacked by mysterious aliens.
Neelix: That sounds like fun!
Neelix: Hey, some suspicious readings. I'd better go investigate.
Chakotay: (over the comm) Neelix, what did I say about foolishly running off?
Neelix: To do it? No, wait, that's not -- GAK!
Chakotay: Neelix, what happened?
Chakotay: Someone stole your lungs?
Chakotay: Then how are you saying "Gak"?
Neelix: Shut up.
Doc: I'm sorry, but Neelix will never be able to leave this restraint.
Doc: And he'll have to spend the rest of his life in Sickbay with me.
Janeway: Is there anybody here?
Janeway: Shame on you! That was way too easy.
Voice: Good point. We'll go hide in an asteroid to make up for it.
Neelix: I'm bored. Will you sing for me, Doc?
Doc: Pfft. Me? Sing? That'll be the day.
Paris: Oo! I've never flown a starship into an asteroid before. It'll be fun!
Janeway: It'll be even more fun if we send Chakotay in a shuttle. BWAHAHAHAHA!
Chakotay: I don't get it.
Tuvok: (aside to Janeway) We haven't started that yet.
Janeway: Nuts. Carry on, Mr. Paris.
Paris: Call me Han.
Kes: You're far too modest, Doctor. You need an ego.
Doc: An ego, eh? That would come in handy if I wanted to command the ship....
Janeway: Hmm...I wonder which ship is the real one.
Vidiians: Not this one!
Janeway: Shame on you! That was also way too easy.
Vidiians: Fine, we'll give you a moral dilemma to make up for it.
Janeway: Give Neelix his lungs back!
Vidiian #1: Look, lady, we're doing you a huge favor here. Trust me.
Janeway: But this is my thing for this episode!
Vidiian #1: Bite me.
Janeway: You seem unusually annoying....
Vidiian #2: He's got Neelix's lungs.
Janeway: I would never kill a living being to save my crewman.
Chakotay: Does the name Tuvix mean anything to you?
Janeway: Not yet.
Vidiian #2: Actually, we could save Neelix without killing this guy.
Vidiian #1: Sigh. You just had to resolve the moral dilemma for them, didn't you.
Kes: I'll give Neelix one of my lungs. That way he'll remember me even after I'm gone.
Janeway: Good one, Kes, but go ahead anyways.
Chakotay: I bet those Vidiians are going to become recurring villains.
Janeway: Pfft. Over my dead bodies.
(Voyager blasts off at Ludicrous Speed)
Kira is one of the contributors of Five-Minute Voyager, where sci-fi episodes are reduced to "fivers" of one-twelfth their original length.