RSS iconTwitter iconFacebook icon

TrekToday title image

The Trek Nation - Pathfinder

Pathfinder

By Gorizo
Posted at December 25, 2004 - 2:45 PM GMT

See Also: 'Pathfinder' Episode Guide

Barclay: Damn, the other cameo's already here.
Troi: Hi. Long time no see. Still having problems?
Barclay: Well, I'm desperately trying to hide them, so no. No problems at all.

Barclay: Fine, I have a problem. Many in fact.
Troi: Go ahead, I've brought my list of stereotypical psychologist one-liners.
Barclay: I found a way to recreate a crew and have them suck up to me, and yet not bother the real people!
Troi: Holo-addiction again?
Barclay: No!

Barclay: Hi Pete. I thought we could use technobabble to talk to Voyager.
Pete: Hmmm, no. Scrub the toilet instead.
Barclay: Aw.

Pete: Still here?
Barclay: The toilet's clean now.
Pete: I know, I just used it. Want a date with some chick I know?
Barclay: No, I'm allergic to that.

Barclay: Hi people!
Holo-Voyager Crew: Hi God!
Barclay: I just love simulated people. Much nicer than real people. Don't see a problem there!

Holo-Doc: Poor guy...so much stress in you.
Barclay: Hey, how come the EMH has bad bedside manners, yet a hologram of him has good ones? Ooh -- yeah, a little more to the right. Ahhh!

Holo-Harry: Am I sucking up to you enough?
Holo-Tom: Shut up, it's my turn!
Barclay: You'll all get your turn.
Holo-B'Elanna: Bite me, losers.
My turn to get the man.

Pete: We can only send "I miss you" letters to Voyager, nothing more.
Admiral Paris: Good enough. I don't want to see Tom any time soon.
Barclay: Wait! If you use technobla, I mean, tachobel, errr, technabel...what's that word again?
Admiral Paris: You mean technobabble? I like it.
Pete: Reg, shut up and get lost. Don't listen to him. He's a geek. Even among engineers.
Admiral Paris: If you say so.

Barclay: So I went back to the holodeck to be sucked up to some more.
Troi: So you do have a holo-addict--
Barclay: NO! No, I don't!

Barclay: I've got a problem to work on. Be awed at me, people!
Holo-Janeway: We're all yours if you tell us how.
Holo-Tuvok: Hot damn. I mean, wow. I mean, impressive.
Barclay: Stay with me, people. Especially you, Poindexter.
Holo-Chakotay: I wish
I could be that commanding.

Barclay: Hmm...instead of saying techno-whatchamacallit, I'll say "tech." That oughta do it.
Pete: Are
you still here? Looks like holo-addiction to me.
Barclay: Bite me!
Pete: Okay. Wait, I'm your boss. You're fired.

Admiral Paris: You again? I can't see you, I'm having a meeting or something.
Barclay: Wait up, I made the plan better! We can use "tech." Simple enough now?
Admiral Paris: You bet! Even an administrator such as myself understands
that.

Troi: So it went well.
Barclay: No, that was 24th-century red tape! Just tell them I'm sane.
Troi: No can do, I can barely hide my fear of you. Besides, there's the holo-add--
Barclay: ARGGGH! NONONONONO! Oh wait, yes.

Barclay: Something's wrong, Neelix the cat. You can't have a cameo do a character development episode. I'm going back to the holodeck. I'll break in and do my tech thing too!

Pete: Still here?
Barclay: Why do you keep saying that? Computer, holodeck.
Pete: Finally, time for some action. Shoot the nerd.
Security officer: Sorry, we're just extras.
Pete: Fine. Computer, blow up the ship. The fake one.

Holo-Janeway: What's going on? Can I suck up some more?
Barclay: Yes, but you'll have to do it quick -- I have to talk to the real Voyager.
Pete: Gotcha. I knew you'd be on the bridge, it's the only set we hadn't seen this week.
Barclay: Crud.

Neelix: We're on the real Voyager now.
Seven: Your point?
Neelix: Well, somebody had to say it! Care to start a sub-plot?
Seven: No. Bridge, I've got Starfleet on the line.

Pete: Arrest the nerd!
Admiral Paris: Am I too late to do a Deus ex machina?
Janeway (over the tech channel): Hello? Starfleet?
Pete: Yes to both of you.
Admiral Paris: No fair!
Janeway: Excellent! We just have enough time to send some data that will allow further cameos.

Pete: Sorry I called you a nerd, Reg.
Barclay: So I won't be accused of breaking in anymore? Hurray!

Janeway: In the image of our holo replicas, a toast to Reg!
Everybody: We love you Reg, we really do. And we are real people!

Troi: So, you're friends with your boss again?
Barclay: Sure am, I'm dating his sister-in-law.
Troi: Is she cute?
Barclay: Yes, but it's gonna be over come our next cameo. I'm still a nerd, you know.
(Voyager blasts off at Ludicrous Speed...presumably)

THE END

Find more episode info in the Episode Guide.


Gorizo is one of the contributors of Five-Minute Voyager, where sci-fi episodes are reduced to "fivers" of one-twelfth their original length.