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The Trek Nation - Nightingale

Nightingale

By Colin 'Zeke' Hayman
Posted at December 25, 2004 - 2:55 PM GMT

See Also: 'Nightingale' Episode Guide

Icheb: I'm smarter than you, B'Elanna. Ha ha.
Janeway: You know, the kid's got a point.

Some Kraylor: Save us!
Kim: I'm really not supposed to.
Some Kraylor: Please?
Kim: Okay.

Loken: Hi guys. The officers are all dead.
Kim: Oo, that's handy.

Kim: I understand your problem, Terek.
Terek: You mean you were caught in a disaster as a young man and had to struggle to survive?
Kim: No, I mean I've seen my superiors conveniently die. Way back in "Caretaker."

Torres: Hey there. So...do you like stuff?
Icheb: Are you kidding? I'm a complete loser.
Torres: Nah, you're a cutie. Catch you later, babe.
Icheb: Uh oh -- is she coming on to me?

Loken: You've got to help us get home! We have to deliver medicine or something.
Kim: That does sound important.

Annari: My people are very generous and nice.
Janeway: And will you be firing on us later in the episode?
Kim: (over the comm) Hey Mom, can I bring my new friends over to visit?
Janeway: Shut up! You're interrupting delicate negotiations.

Kim: Come on, give me a chance to play captain!
Janeway: Absolutely not.
Kim: Please?
Janeway: Okay. Wow, you're as persuasive as Some Kraylor!

Icheb: Hey Doc, how do you know if someone's hot for you?
Doc: By using technobabble, of course!

Paris: Come on, can I tag along? Pleeeeeease?
Kim: Get your own "command" episode, you moocher!

Neelix: You need to be more decisive, Harry.
Kim: No!
Neelix: That's the spirit!

Seven: Okay, let's get this catastrophe on the road!
Loken: Hey, why did you bring her?
Kim: Because she has big -- um, skills.

Kim: Being in command is spiffy!
Seven: How nice for you. Just be careful not to micromanage.
Kim: Who, me? Hey, Terek, you're messing up! Better let me do all your work.

Icheb: And then we should put the fluxificator in the aqueziaputron.
Torres: Boy, you sure are smart! Far too smart to, say, scan a coworker.
Icheb: Um, yes. Of course. Could you turn around for a sec?

Loken: The cloaking system is breaking down, you idiot! What are you going to do about it?
Kim: Same thing I always do: sit back and wait for the problem to go away! Da da da da da, da da da da....

Seven: I'll put this as gently as I can, Harry: you suck.
Kim: Yeah, well -- you don't! Wait, that's not an insult....

Terek: A bunch of Bad Guy ships just spotted us!
Kim: That kinda sucks. Let's do something.
Loken: Like what?
Kim: Um...er...you know.
Dayla: Screw it, I'll just go die heroically.

Kim: You're no doctor!
Loken: How did you know?
Kim: I noticed that I could read your handwriting. What's this mission really about?
Loken: Fine, you got me. It's all about the cloaking device.
Kim: Are you lying?
Loken: No.
Kim: You would say that, wouldn't you? I'm taking us home to Mommy!
Loken: Says you. Take him away, boys.

Icheb: AAAAA! Tom Paris! Please don't kill me!
Paris: Why would I do that? It's not like you're making a play for B'Elanna or something.
Icheb: Um, yeah. That's right. Of course. Quick, look over there!

Icheb: You want me. Admit it.
Torres: Will that shut you up?
Icheb: Yes.
Torres: Okay, I want you.
Icheb: That's inappropriate. Take a hike!
Torres: Aw.

Seven: Don't give up, Harry! You'll suck if you do!
Kim: I thought I already sucked.
Seven: Well, you'll suck more.

Loken: There's our planet. But how do we get past the Bad Guys?
Kim: I'll handle it! I've changed my mind and decided to return.
Loken: Actually, we kicked you out.
Kim: Details.

Annari: We've decided we don't like you guys after all. Get lost!
Janeway: In a pig's eye! Let's go beat them up.
Chakotay: Aren't we in the middle of an overh--
Janeway: One more syllable and you're fired, chump.

Terek: Aiieee! We're dead!
Kim: Don't give up hope -- there's still technobabble! I don't think I've used up my quota for this episode yet....
Terek: Yes! Our anaglactic beam emission caused a feedback overload in their tachyonicitous deflector matrix!
Kim: Excellent.

Acting Captain's Log: I, the mighty hero, saved the day. Kinda.

Neelix: So, how're the old command skills?
Kim: Pretty lame. But hey, who cares?
(Voyager blasts off at Ludicrous Speed)

THE END

Find more episode info in the Episode Guide.


Colin 'Zeke' Hayman is one of the contributors of Five-Minute Voyager, where sci-fi episodes are reduced to "fivers" of one-twelfth their original length.