ImperfectionBy Colin 'Zeke' Hayman
Posted at December 25, 2004 - 2:53 PM GMT
See Also: 'Imperfection' Episode Guide
Seven: Bye Mezoti! Bye Rebi! Bye Azan!
Rebi: I'm Rebi. He's Azan.
Seven: Don't contradict me, little man.
Icheb: Do we have to shut down their alcoves already?
Seven: What, you're still here? Uh, I mean, yes.
Icheb: Nuts. Hey, are you crying?
Seven: No way -- tears are for the weak. I must just be broken. Yes, that will do.
Doc: Actually, Seven, you are broken.
Seven: Lalalalala, I can't hear you!
Icheb: Can I apply to Starfleet Academy? Pleeease?
Seven: Sure, sure, knock yourself out.
Neelix: Are you sure you want to drink that gooey stuff? Have an omelette instead.
Seven: No way. OW! Oh, the pain!
Neelix: Told ya.
Janeway: Seven needs a new cortical node. Let's take the Delta Flyer and get one.
Kim: Since when do we still have a Delta Flyer?
Paris: We discussed this, Harry. Remember?
Kim: Oh yeah, the episodes-shown-out-of-order thing! Sorry.
Icheb: Seven's in danger? I have to come on the mission!
Janeway: Sorry, you weren't invited.
Tuvok: Somebody busted most of the drones.
Janeway: Think maybe it was some hostile aliens?
Janeway: Got the node! Uh oh, who are you?
Hostile Aliens: Generic bad guys. We're here to beat you up.
Janeway: Okay, but only until our convenient beamout.
Neelix: Wanna play Super Checkers?
Doc: Don't take it too hard, Neelix, she's just mad because she sucks.
Seven: Um...did I say no? Because I meant yes.
Doc: And now we just plunk in the node like so! Whoops.
Paris: You killed the simulated Seven again, didn't you?
Doc: I blame the node.
Janeway: We have to save her!
Doc: Look, you'd better just accept it -- we suck too much.
Seven: Did it work? Huh? Huh? Did it? Huh? Did it?
Janeway: Oh, and you're grounded too.
Seven: Meanies! Meanies!
Icheb: Whoa! What happened to you?
Doc: Seven fried me and escaped. But at least we've still got her comm badge.
Seven: You know, my impending death really blows.
Torres: I wouldn't say that.
Icheb: Come on, will you please help me study?
Seven: Sorry, I'd rather die.
Icheb: Then I'll find a cure. You're not getting out of it that easily!
Icheb: Look, Doc, I found a technobabble trick so you can give Seven my node.
Doc: But you'll die!
Icheb: No, I found a technobbable trick to fix that too.
Seven: Oh, I give up!
Janeway: Giving up is bad. If I'd given up, then a bunch of the crew wouldn't have been killed. No wait, that's bad too...okay, now I'm confused.
Doc: This technobabble plan is risky, but Icheb says it'll work.
Seven: Not a chance!
Icheb: You're the Big Cheese, Captain -- order her to do it!
Janeway: Sorry, Icheb, that would be wrong.
Janeway: I dunno, the Prime Directive or something.
Doc: Gotta go, Icheb just called.
Seven: Uh oh. Is he hurt?
Doc: Don't worry about it, he probably just lobotomized himself.
Icheb: Hi, guys! Here, have a cortical node.
Janeway: Okay, but it better not be yours.
Seven: You're an idiot!
Icheb: No, you are!
Janeway: Actually, he's right.
Doc: You're all idiots! Can I just operate already?
Doc: Well, Seven, you're all fixed up.
Seven: How's Icheb?
Icheb: Oh, I'm fine and dandy.
Seven: Good. Now I can make you work like a dog.
(Voyager heads off at Ludicrous Speed)
Colin 'Zeke' Hayman is one of the contributors of Five-Minute Voyager, where sci-fi episodes are reduced to "fivers" of one-twelfth their original length.