Flesh and BloodBy Colin 'Zeke' Hayman
Posted at December 25, 2004 - 2:55 PM GMT
See Also: 'Flesh and Blood' Episode Guide
Doc: She wasn't part of our deal, you backstabber!
Iden: Look who's talking.
Doc: Yeah, well...um...aw, nuts.
Tuvok: Turns out Doc backstabbed us.
Janeway: Eh, no biggie. He's probably just broken. After all, it's not like anyone would dare to defy me otherwise.
Tuvok: Except your entire senior staff. Want me to name the episodes?
Janeway: Shut up, you!
Torres: You can't really be defecting!
Doc: Why not? You did.
Torres: That's different. I'm better than you, remember?
Hologram: You and your prayers, Iden. If you ask me, religion can kiss my holographic a--
Iden: Shouldn't have said that. Now you've started me on a slow descent into megalomania.
Hologram: Aw, crap.
Torres: Let me out of here!
Iden: Not till you meet our little clan. Puppy-dog eyes on stun, guys.
Donik: Those other Hirogen are mean. Can I stay with you?
Janeway: Okay, but you'd better either leave or get killed off before the end of the episode.
Hirogen: Thanks for the help, Janeway. Now screw off.
Janeway: Yeah right! Let's follow them, guys. Uh oh -- is this thing still on?
Torres: I don't trust you.
Kejal: I don't trust you either. Let's develop a rapport.
Doc: I think I'm going to go home after all.
Iden: Our home will be way nicer than Voyager.
Iden: And I'd let you have a self-aggrandizing title.
Paris: The Hirogen are heading into that nebula.
Janeway: Follow them. Nothing dangerous about nebulas.
Paris: What about "Cathexis"?
Janeway: Hey, eyes on the road!
Torres: You know, you could have a brilliant future ahead of you.
Kejal: So you're saying I should take up ballet, or what?
Iden: I'm a god now. Wanna be one too?
Doc: No way! I have no interest in being worshipped.
Doc: I'm starting to think Iden's a few quarks short of a baryon.
Torres: Dumber than Quark? No way.
Iden: Give me your holograms.
Iden: Bzzzzt! Wrong answer. Blow 'em up, boys.
Torres: You just killed two people!
Iden: This is a problem?
Torres: You know, maybe you should rebel against the rebellion.
Kejal: What makes you think I'll agree?
Torres: I've watched Insurrection. Trust me -- it works.
Iden: Welcome to the flock, holograms!
Iden: Oh great...I think we got the discount versions.
Hirogen: Voyager just took us out!
Hirogen Captain: Well, that's just great. I have got to start checking my rear-view mirror.
Iden: Beam those Hirogen down to the planet.
Doc: That's mean!
Iden: What's this? You want me to have your mobile emitter, you say? Why, thank you!
Doc: Hey, that's only part of what I said.
Janeway: Follow that ship!
Tuvok: Sorry, our huge mighty ship can't handle it.
Janeway: Okay, take the small wimpy ship instead. That should work.
Torres: Come on, rebel against Iden! Rebelrebelrebelrebelrebel!
Kejal: Oh, fine.
Doc: Stop all that bad stuff or I'll kill you!
Iden: No you won't.
Doc: Will too.
Doc: Like I said. And thus ends the main plot!
Hirogen: Bye, Janeway. It's been real.
Janeway: Yeah, whatever.
Kejal: I'm going to stay here on the ship.
Donik: I'm with Kejal.
Janeway: Aw, how cute.
Doc: Sorry I betrayed you, Captain. Want my mobile emitter?
Janeway: No thanks. What would I do with it?
Doc: Shouldn't I be punished, though?
(Voyager blasts off at Ludicrous Speed)
Colin 'Zeke' Hayman is one of the contributors of Five-Minute Voyager, where sci-fi episodes are reduced to "fivers" of one-twelfth their original length.