Extreme Risk By Admiral Sab
Posted at December 25, 2004 - 2:25 PM GMT

See Also: 'Extreme Risk' Episode Guide

Unknown Crewman: We're way up high now. You may jump.
Torres: Take us higher.
Unknown Crewmember: Eh?

Seven: Cool catsuit, but mine's better.
Torres: Whatever.
Seven: Eh?

Tuvok: The Borgified probe we launched is being tractored by those meddlin' Malon!
Janeway: Ditch the probe in the upper atmosphere. We need an excuse to build a new shuttle.

Janeway: Paris, contain yourself -- you know you're going to get your way.
Torres: Sorry I'm late.
Paris: So, you wanna help us build the new super duper shuttle, B'Elanna?
Torres: Do I have to answer now?

Tuvok: Your shuttle is illogical!
Paris: Is not!
Tuvok: Is too!
Seven: It is too...especially what Torres did.
Paris: Everybody down!
Torres: You are right, Seven. I am scum.
Tuvok: What did you do, Paris?

Paris: You wanna have dinner?
Torres: I have to go.
Paris: To the holodeck and hurt yourself?
Torres: I have to go.

Torres: Delete holodeck safety protocols on this dangerous program.
Computer: That would be an "Extreme Risk" to your safety.
Torres: And?

Kim: Captain, the trashmen are hailing us.
Janeway: And?

Torres: Ouchouchouchouchouch....
Computer: Told ya so.
Torres: Whatever. Ouchouch...where is Tom's dermal regenerator? I remember using it one night here on Deck 9, Section 12....

Neelix: Hey, B'Elanna! You know what time it is?
Torres: Time for the "Neelix tries to help Torres" part of the show. But instead, how about some banana pancakes and syrup.
Neelix: Uh ok.
Torres: Yummy. Goodnight.
Neelix: Goodnight, Chako--I mean, B'Elanna. Sorry. It's hard to tell your acting styles apart these days.

Seven: I think the Malon are building a shuttle too.
Janeway: Then let's have a space race!
Paris: Oh, and maybe at the end of the race I can propose to B'Elanna!
Janeway: Nah, better save that for Season 7...you know that'll "Drive" the P/Ters crazy!

Kim: Listen to me, Tuvok!
Tuvok: I do not listen to illogic.
Paris: All right! Let's go!
Tuvok: I'm not listening!
Tuvok: We need to test the shuttle.
Torres: How convenient...I need to hurt myself again.

Torres: Run the simulation, Computer, without safety protocols.
Computer: Warning -- that would be an "Extreme Risk" to your life.
Torres: We all know the episode's title. Quit repeating it.

Janeway: Chakotay, I need B'Elanna, so get her out of the holodeck.
Chakotay: Is it time for us to get a clue already?

Janeway: Do you realize the "Extreme Risk" to your life?
Torres: The computer mentioned something like that.
Janeway: You've been emotionless.
Torres: Chakotay is like that all the time and he doesn't get in trouble.
Janeway: Yes, but he looks good while doing it...I'm not attracted to you.

Janeway: You expect me to believe that you didn't know anything about your girlfriend's troubles?
Paris: Well, it is the fifth season....
Janeway: No excuse. I think you knew and you are covering for her. I've seen "Night".

Torres: The doc says I am depressed.
Chakotay: Are you?
Torres: Are you?

Chakotay: So B'Elanna, what's up with this freaky program?
Torres: I dunno, maybe I'm suicidal?
Chakotay: Well...you are dating Tom...the pressure from the P/Ters must get to you sometimes...just emote.
Torres: I don't know how.
Chakotay: Yeah, neither do I.

Torres: Chakotay, let me carry that tool chest, it looks like it's hurting you.
Chakotay: But I like looking like an engineer.

Kim: B'Elanna! Welcome!
Paris: Just sit over there and try not to hurt yourself.

Kim: The Malon are beating us to the probe! Seven, take care of 'em!...Oh no, now the hull is breaching.
Torres: Have no fear -- Torres is here! (BUM BUM BUM) Using only a piece of bulkhead, a phaser, an EPS relay, and a tech thing, Torres was able to save the Delta Flyer from a hull breach. Man, am I good!

Chakotay: It's the end of the episode, so you must be feeling better.
Torres: Yeah...well, until next year's Torres Angst episode.

Torres: Computer, some banana pancakes with maple syrup please....
Computer: Warning: the nutritional value of that dish presents an "Extreme Risk" to your health.
(Voyager blasts off at Ludicrous Speed)


Find more episode info in the Episode Guide.

Admiral Sab is one of the contributors of Five-Minute Voyager, where sci-fi episodes are reduced to "fivers" of one-twelfth their original length.