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The Trek Nation - Emanations

Emanations

By Jade
Posted at December 25, 2004 - 1:39 PM GMT

See Also: 'Emanations' Episode Guide

Captain's Log: We've discovered some new sciency stuff. I'm gonna be famous! People always said I looked like Marie Curie... Kim! Go fetch my famous-making new element!

Chakotay: Aah! Spider's web! Spiders! Aaaaaaaaa!
Kim: It's okay, Commander, no spiders. It's coming off those corpses over there.
Torres: Ooh! D'you think they'd mind if we went through their pockets?
Chakotay: Yes.
Torres: But that one's got latinum!
Chakotay: I still say no.
Kim: And that one's got a voucher for a tattoo parlour.
Chakotay: Nooooo! I must! Resist! Temptation! And also stop talking like Captain Kirk.

Janeway: So my famous-making new element is made of dead people? Eww.
Kim: Who cares? We'd be famous!
Chakotay: Don't be so cold-hearted. Though they're only dead to you, I'm saying stay away, and let them rest in peace.
Kim: I'm unimpressed.
Chakotay: Harry, just get sucked into another dimension, why don't you.
Kim: Okay.

Janeway: Chakotay, you landed us with a dead girl!
Doctor: It's okay, I can bring her back.
Janeway: How?
Doctor: Well, I plan to perform a complicated ritual involving the blood of a fawn, the urn of Osiris, and me throwing up a snake.
Janeway: Doctor, that would never work right.
Doctor: You're right. I'll use technobabble.

Alien Guy: ...And so Ptera is now in the next emanation, enjoying sun and fresh mango juice.
Kim From Inside Coffin: (knock knock)
Alien Guy: Hang on, that sounds like Morse code... (listening) She seems to be saying... "Where... the frell... am I... get... me... out." It's a message from the next emanation!
Kim: More like a green ensign, actually. So, since I'm from the next emanation, does that mean you'll worship me?
Alien Guy: Well, Hatil over there might... the rest of us? Not so much.

Hatil's Wife: I love you, Hatil. I'm so glad you've decided to kill yourself.
Hatil: Um, yeah. Me too.
Kim: Hi, heard you were looking for someone to worship?
Hatil: I'll settle for someone who could help me not die.
Kim: Hmm... If it means that I'll die instead, sure!

Dr. Neria: Who are you?
Kim: I'm Harry, Harry Pot-- um, Kim.
Hatil: He said he saw dead people!
Neria: Are you sure your name's Harry, son? Not... Haley?
Kim: No, I'm just... just Harry.

Janeway: So Doc, can you wake up the un-dead girl?
Doctor: Captain, she's not a vampire.
Hypospray: Pssss.
Ptera: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
Doctor: ...though she may be a banshee.

Neria: So when we die we turn into corpses and decompose? That's preposterous!
Kim: Well, according to my math, with a total of about 200 000 bodies in those asteroids and a new one appearing every two hours, you've only been getting rid of bodies in this way for the last forty-six years. Which begs the question: What did you do with them before that? Huh? Plot hole, hello!
Neria: You can't know that there are 200 000 bodies because you're not on Voyager, and even if you were, they don't know that yet either! So HA! Plot hole right back atcha!
Kim: Meh.
Neria: ...So what were we talking about?

Chakotay: Look Captain, there are 200 000 bodies in this asteroid belt.
Janeway: Huh.

Ptera: I just want answers!
Janeway: Well, 42 is always a good one.
Kes: Also, food.
Ptera: Not quite what I was looking for, but thanks... do you serve Bancheese(TM)?

Hatil: I don't wanna die!
Hatil's Wife: Tough.
Kim: I saw the dead bodies of your people before I got here, but hey, maybe you get an afterlife anyway!
Hatil: Was that meant to be comforting?

Torres: Captain, dead bodies keep appearing on Voyager and the subspace thingumies that deliver them are really dangerous.
Tuvok: Plus, y'know, dead bodies are just creepy.
Janeway: Is this a plot device to raise the tension during our last-ditch attempt to save Harry?
Torres: Yep.
Janeway: Excellent work. Let's run away and hide, shall we?

Ptera: I wanna go home!
Janeway: Okay, step up to the transporter pad and we'll accidentally kill you while trying to get you there. Deal?
Ptera: Sounds good.
Seska: Yeah, gives us an excuse to go back to the dangerous asteroid belt an' all. By the way, hey look, it's me! All non-evil and everything! Isn't that spooky?

Neria: Unless you switch places with Hatil and send him off to live in the mountains you'll be taken away to be prodded and poked by evil scientists.
Kim: Will these evil scientists also be gorgeous women? 'Cause if that's the case....
Neria: More likely to be men who wear blue gloves and cut up your brain, I would say.
Kim: Ah.

Kim: Well, here we go, my first death. Gulp.

Chakotay: Captain, Ensign Kim's dead body appeared just in the nick of time!
Paris: But will the Doctor be able to revive him?
Janeway: Of course he will, Mr. Paris. He needs to live so he can die again in "Deadlock".
Doctor: He's aliiiiiive!
Janeway: Told ya.

Janeway: In order to comfort our viewers, I have to tell Ensign Kim that these aliens may indeed have an afterlife. We just don't know the truth. But never fear, for it is out there!
(Neural energy flies into the asteroids' electromagnetic field at Ludicrous Speed)

THE END

Find more episode info in the Episode Guide.


Jade is one of the contributors of Five-Minute Voyager, where sci-fi episodes are reduced to "fivers" of one-twelfth their original length.