Day of HonorBy Colin 'Zeke' Hayman
Posted at December 25, 2004 - 2:09 PM GMT
See Also: 'Day of Honor' Episode Guide
Seven: I'm bored.
Chakotay: Okay, go bug B'Elanna.
Paris: Having a good day?
Paris: I'll take that as a "no."
Chakotay: Mind if Seven of Nine helps with the engines?
Chakotay: Too bad.
Janeway: You need a shorter name. How about "Seven"?
Seven: That sucks, but okay.
Caatati: The Borg creamed us.
Janeway: In that case, take as much of our stuff as you want.
Torres: Look at those guys. You should be ashamed of yourself, Seven.
Torres: My day really sucks.
Neelix: Wanna yell at me?
Torres: No thanks. Think I should do this dumb Day of Honor stuff?
Neelix: Read the episode title and have some blood pie.
Klingon: So what have you done lately?
Torres: Nothing much.
Klingon: You suck. Bring on the pain sticks!
Torres: OW! Oh, that does it.
Klingons: Hey, you're fighting back! Cheater! OW! OW!
Paris: What the heck is your problem?
Torres: Shut up and leave me alone!
Caatati: Can we have seconds?
Janeway: No way!
Caatati: Pretty please with a cherry on top?
Janeway: Oh, all right.
Tuvok: ...and that's the holodeck, and that's the galley, and that's our former Borg.
Caatati: Borg? DIE! DIE! DIEDIEDIEDIE--
Tuvok: Hey, no murdering the crew!
Paris: Sorry about that, Seven. Will you be my friend?
Janeway: Okay, let's do this thing!
Torres: So far, so good.
Vorik: Um, the warp core's hosed.
Torres: Nuts. Where's the "eject" button on this thing?
Paris: There goes the core.
Torres: Okay, now my day really, really sucks.
Janeway: So everything's messed up?
Torres: Yep. Seven's fault.
Janeway: Shut up and go get the core with Tom. We haven't appeased the P/Ters since "Blood Fever."
Torres: At least nothing else can go wrong.
Caatati: Hi, guys!
Paris: You just had to tempt fate, didn't you, B'Elanna?
Torres: Well, here we are alone in space. What does it take to satisfy those damn P/Ters?
Seven: You know, you guys don't completely suck after all.
Torres: I don't like this ion storm.
Paris: Don't sweat it. Whoops...um, can I borrow some air?
Torres: Okay, but give it back when you're done.
Seven: Turns out it was just an accident after all.
Chakotay: But Tom and B'Elanna are screwed.
Tuvok: And considering this Caatati fleet, so are we.
Caatati: We're better than you now, so give us all your stuff.
Kim: Geez, you guys are even ruder than Seven.
Caatati: Oh yeah, we want her too.
Torres: This is a lousy day to die. I suck.
Paris: True, but I don't mind.
Seven: I'll let them kill me to save you guys.
Janeway: Nah, I'd prefer for us all to die.
Seven: In that case, let's try this.
Janeway: Aw. Nobody dies that way.
Caatati: And we don't even have to pay you for this?
Seven: Nope, it's the shareware edition. Of course, if you want to buy the registered version, you can just fill out this--
Caatati: Gotta go!
Torres: I love you.
(Voyager comes to the rescue at Ludicrous Speed)
Colin 'Zeke' Hayman is one of the contributors of Five-Minute Voyager, where sci-fi episodes are reduced to "fivers" of one-twelfth their original length.