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The Trek Nation - Bliss

Bliss

By Marc Richard
Posted at December 25, 2004 - 2:36 PM GMT

See Also: 'Bliss' Episode Guide

Qatai: Ha-ha! Let's you and me lock horns again, tough guy!
Giant Space Monster: Gulp! Munch! Yum!

Janeway: A wormhole?
Chakotay: Yes. It leads straight home and it's perfectly safe.
Janeway: How can you tell?
Tuvok: From those flashing neon signs around the opening.
Janeway: (reading from viewscreen) THIS WAY HOME. SAFE ROUTE GUARANTEED. Gosh, that's convenient.

Naomi: Can I try piloting the Delta Flyer?
Seven: Inadvisable. It would be too dangerous.
Paris: As compared to Chakotay's flying, you mean?
Seven: Set a course for Voyager, Miss Wildman.

Janeway: (grinning) We've found a wormhole.
Chakotay: (grinning) It leads straight home.
Kim: (grinning) All the sensor readings for it are just peachy.
Seven: (frowning) Something's not right here.
Janeway: (grinning) You're spoiling the mood, Seven.

Chakotay: Great news! Here are more letters from home for us!
Janeway: (reads) Wow! Happyhappyhappy!
Chakotay: (reads) Me too! Me too!
Janeway: Mark's new fiancée has taken a hike! I don't need to ogle you anymore!
Chakotay: And I'll be doing less jail time than I expected! Just ten years!

Seven: Computer, play second most recent Captain's Log entry.
Computer: Access denied.
(WHACK!)
Computer: Access granted.
Janeway: (on screen, frowning) How do I spell "convenient"? B-O-O-B-Y-T-R-A-P.
Seven: Now play most recent entry.
Janeway: (on screen, dancing and singing): ...what a glor-r-r-r-rious feeeeeling, I'm haaaaapy again!

Seven: Have you noticed the crew acting strangely since we returned?
Paris: (grinning) In what way?
Seven: Never mind.

Qatai: (over the Astrometrics viewscreen) Your crew is being brainwashed!
Seven: No kidding. What do you recommend?
Qatai: Stay away or your ship will be devoured by the evil beast!
Seven: Didn't you deliberately allow your own ship to be swallowed?
Qatai: Do as I say, young lady, not as I do!

Seven: I need access to Astrometrics.
Tuvok: We've shut it down.
Seven: Then I must speak to the Doctor.
Paris: We've shut him down too.
Seven: Am I picking up a pattern here?
Chakotay: Yup. Can you guess what comes next?

Chakotay: Captain, Seven's put up a Borg forcefield and is about to beam herself to Engineering with a phaser rifle.
Janeway: (over the comm) I'm sure you can deal with the situation.
Chakotay: Naomi Wildman is helping her.
Janeway: Uh-oh.

Janeway: (grinning) Take us into the wormhole, Tom!
Paris: (grinning) Planet Earth, here we come!
Giant Space Monster: Gulp! Munch! Yum!

Seven: I propose that we cooperate to escape the monster.
Qatai: (over the viewscreen) You're an illusion trying to deceive me! I refuse to listen to you! I'll, um, just look at you, that's all.
Seven: In that case, I am ending this transmission.
Qatai: Er...wait, I've changed my mind.

Doctor: Please state the nature of the medical emergency.
Seven: The crew is unconscious and a giant mind-controlling space monster is digesting the ship.
Doctor: Am I always the last person to be told anything around here?

Naomi: If we make ourselves taste bad, maybe the monster will spit us out.
Doctor: Agreed -- but how do we do this?
Seven: (working console) I am jettisoning the contents of Cargo Bay One.
Qatai: What's in Cargo Bay One?
Seven: Twelve tons of leola root.
Giant Space Monster: Yuck! Burp! Ptoooie!

Captain's Log: Thanks to Seven, Doc and the kid, we're now safe and sound and all feeling like complete idiots.

Naomi: Think we'll ever reach Earth?
Seven: Unfortunately, yes.
Naomi: That's what I was afraid of.
(Qatai heads back for the monster at Incredulous Speed)

THE END

Find more episode info in the Episode Guide.


Marc Richard is one of the contributors of Five-Minute Voyager, where sci-fi episodes are reduced to "fivers" of one-twelfth their original length.