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The Trek Nation - Before and After

Before and After

By Kira
Posted at December 25, 2004 - 2:06 PM GMT

See Also: 'Before and After' Episode Guide

Doc: Okay, we're ready.

(Flash!)

Doc: Okay, we're almost ready.

(Flash!)

Andrew: Are you all right, Grandma Kes?
Kes: "Grandma"? What the -- ? Bring me a mirror.
Andrew: Here you go.
Kes: Thank y-- HOLY CRAP! What happened to my beautiful face?

Kes: I remember you being ready.
Doc: That's next scene.
Kes: No, that was three scenes ago.
Doc: Oh yeah? Well we'll just have to wait and see, little miss smarty pants.

Chakotay: I think we need some exposition here.
Doc: Of course, Captain.
Chakotay: Thanks. I never get tired of hearing that.
Kes: Brrrr.
Doc: Yeah, it gives me the shivers too.

(Flash!)

Kes: What the-- ?
Linnis: Are you all right, Mom?
Kes: Quiet, you. I don't know who you are yet.
Linnis: Right. Time for some more exposition.
Paris: Hi, honey!
Kim: Hi, honey! Hi, Mom! Hi, Dad!
Paris: I told you to stop calling me that.

Kes: I remember things that haven't happened yet. I think I'm travelling backwards through time.
Doc: That's ridiculous.
Andrew: I think we should listen to her.
Kes: Brrrr.
Doc: Nope, no time.

(Flash!)

Neelix: Happy Birthday, Kes!
Kes: How did you get a uniform?
Neelix: In exchange for not cooking.

Kes: Something's happening to me. Promise you won't call me crazy.
Doc: Okay.
Kes: I'm travelling backwards through time.
Doc: Cuckoo! Cuckoo!
Kes: Hey! You promised!
Doc: I had my "crossing fingers" subroutine activated.

Paris: Want to look at some family pictures, honey?
Kes: Er....say, what's this?
Paris: That's the year of Hell.
Kes: Sounds unpleasant.
Paris: Trust me, you have nothing to worry about.

Paris: Hey! Chronotons!
Kes: Progress at last! Oh crap....

(Flash!)

Paris: What happens if she keeps jumping backwards?
Doc: It will be like she never existed.
Paris: Wow, that's hard to imagine....

Captain's Log: Heheheh. That's fun. "Captain's Log, Captain's Log, Captain's Log." We should have done this future thing a long time ago.

Doc: I've erected a containment field.
Kes: What will that do?
Doc: Hopefully keep you in our boring time frame, away from all those battles and explosions.
Kes: Sounds cool. I'm out of here.

(Flash!)

Kes: Aaaaaaaa! Just my luck.
Linnis: You think you have it bad? Look where I'm coming out!

Kes: Can you help me?
Chakotay: No, we really suck right now. Come back again sooner.

(Flash!)

Kes: Tom, honey, I --
Torres: Not so fast, toots! I'm back now! Mwahahahaha!
Janeway: (over the comm) Woo hoo! Me too!
(BOOM!)
Janeway: Figures.

(BOOOOOM!)
Kes: The Krenim torpedoes are in a state of temporal flux. I can show you how to stop them.
Janeway: That's some useful information. I had better write this down so I don't forget.

Janeway: Well, I may not have been here for most of the episode, but at least I get this cool battle scene.
Torres: Yeah, me too.
(KA-BOOOM!)
Janeway and Torres: Nuts. GAK!
Chakotay: Meh.
Kes: Shouldn't you be more upset?
Chakotay: Nah, she'll be alive in two scenes.

Kes: (scanning the torpedo) I'm a genius! I bet nobody else would have been able to do this.
Torpedo: Just be glad I'm not going to explode on you.
Kes: Yeah, thanks. GAK!

(Flash!)

Doc: 99 chronotons inside Kes, 99 chronotons here! You take one down, smack it around, 98 chronotons inside Kes!
Kes: Brrrr. Phew, just in the nick of time....

(Flash!)

Janeway: Been nice knowing you guys, but we gotta go.
Neelix: Can we come too?
Kes: I'm traveling backwards in time.
Janeway: Oh, all right. Just don't let me catch you cooking. Hey, wait a minute, that's not right....

(Flash!)

Kes' father: Time for dinner, Kes.
Kes: This had better not get any worse.
(Flash!)
Kes: WAAAAAH!Waah! Waah!Waah!WAAAAAH! WAAAAAH! Waah!Waah!Waah!
(Flash!)
Single cell: Uh oh.
(Flash!)
Doc: ...take one down, smack it around, no chronotons inside Kes!
Kes: Good thing I missed that.

Tuvok: Tell us more about these Krenim.
Kes: Fine, but only if you promise to pay attention....
(Voyager blasts off at Ludicrous speed)

THE END

Find more episode info in the Episode Guide.


Kira is one of the contributors of Five-Minute Voyager, where sci-fi episodes are reduced to "fivers" of one-twelfth their original length.