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The Trek Nation - Ashes to Ashes

Ashes to Ashes

By Jen Z
Posted at December 25, 2004 - 2:47 PM GMT

See Also: 'Ashes to Ashes' Episode Guide

Lyndsay: Yo. Voyager. Respond already.
Mezoti: I'm Mezoti. Who the heck are you?
Lyndsay: I'm afraid I can't answer that, for any number of reasons. Patch me through to the Captain.
Mezoti: Sorry, I'm too short. I'm just tall enough to cut you off, though.

Seven: Mezoti, go to your room.
Tuvok: Seven, you're a lousy parent. It's because you're not Vulcan.
Mezoti: Um, guys? There's an alien trying to talk to us.
Lyndsay: Long time no see, Tuvok.
Tuvok: Do I know you?

Lyndsay: Long time no see, Captain.
Janeway: Do I know you?
Lyndsay: (winking at Harry) Long time no see, cutie pie.
Kim: I may know you.
Lyndsay: I'm Lyndsay.
Janeway: But you were....
Lyndsay: Dead. Yeah. I know.

Lyndsay: I died. The Kobali saved me. Now I'm back.
Janeway: I still don't believe you. Well, maybe I do.
Kim: I missed you, Lyndsay.
Lyndsay: Ditto. Hey, let's make the audience wonder if we had a thing back in the old days.

Janeway: Okay everybody, Lyndsay's been dead, so be reeeeeally really nice to her.
Lyndsay: I thought I wasn't important.
Janeway: So did I, until you became the guest star for this episode.

Kim: I'm glad you're back.
Lyndsay: That's just because I'm spunkier than most of the regulars on this show.

Mezoti and Naomi: Let's have fun!
Seven: You will be punished. Resistance is futile.
Icheb: You're mean and we hate you.
Seven: Icheb, go punish yourself.
Icheb: And who's gonna make me, Borg Momma?

Kim: Um, I love you. Whoops, did I say that out loud?
Lyndsay: Whatever. You know, you're a neat freak.
Kim: So? You're late for work all the time.
Lyndsay: So? You're a terrible public speaker.
Kim: So? You're bald and spotty.
Lyndsay: Okay, you win.

Doc: Shall I make you look human?
Lyndsay: Yes please.
Neelix: Would you like some human food?
Lyndsay: Yes please.
Torres: Time to start speaking English!
Lyndsay: Um, I don't think I'm ready for that yet. Gotta go.

Seven: I hate kids. I hate 'em I hate 'em I hate 'em.
Chakotay: That's because you're a control freak.
Seven: You say that like it's a bad thing.

Paris: You loooooove her. Harry and Lyndsay, sitting in a tree....
Kim: You're wrong. Except that maybe you're right.
Lyndsay: Hi again, cutie pie. Thanks for being my best bud. Gotta go.

Janeway: My cooking may kill you.
Lyndsay: Maybe the Kobali will rescue me again.
Janeway: What?
Lyndsay: Just kidding. But while we're on the subject, why did you kill me last time?
Janeway: Whaaaat?
Lyndsay: Gotta go.

Dream-Sequence Crew: We hate you.
Lyndsay: Gotta go.

Lyndsay: I hate my life.
Kim: Did I mention that I love you?
Lyndsay: Whatever. I hate my life.
Kim: Can we at least kiss while you're busy not listening to me?
Lyndsay: Yeah, okay. I still hate my life though.

Borglets: Seven, Seven, look how adorably disobedient we are.
Seven: Okay. Maybe I don't hate you. This time.

Dad: Okay, hand her over.
Janeway: It's Lyndsay's decision.
Dad: Fine. Jhet'leya, please come home.
Lyndsay: No.
Dad: Okay, now we'll have to kill all of you.

Lyndsay: I hate my life. I want to go home and eat paste.
Doc: You may have to take up residence in sickbay.
Lyndsay: Okay, that's it. Now my life officially sucks.

Janeway: You're not going back.
Lyndsay: Yes I am!
Janeway: No.
Lyndsay: Yes!
Kim: No!
Chakotay, Tuvok, and Tom: Geez, send her home already!

Kim: The comets are tiresome. I mean, I love you.
Lyndsay: Whatever. I hate my life. But I've gotten kind of attached to you.
Kim: Don't worry about me. I'll always have Mezoti.
Lyndsay: Whaaaa...?
(Harry and Mezoti walk into the sunset at Ludicrous Speed)

THE END

Find more episode info in the Episode Guide.


Jen Z is one of the contributors of Five-Minute Voyager, where sci-fi episodes are reduced to "fivers" of one-twelfth their original length.