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The Trek Nation - Silicon Avatar

Silicon Avatar

By Derek Dean
Posted at December 25, 2004 - 5:36 PM GMT

See Also: 'Silicon Avatar' Episode Guide

Carmen: Look! Up in the sky!
Crusher: It's a Christmas tree ornament!
Data: It's a helix!
Riker: It's the Crystalline Entity! Run away! Run away!

Riker: Phew, we're all safe now. I've sealed us in this airtight cave.
Crusher: Um, airtight?
Riker: Yeah, try to hold your breath.

Riker: ...and so the fifth element was this girl, the other four being fire, water, earth, and --
Person: Air!
Riker: No, wind. You were close though.
Person: Air!
Riker: No, you already guessed that and were wrong.

Worf: We've come to rescue you.
Riker: Did you detect the entity destroying the planet?
Worf: No, the captain just knew you couldn't go more than eight hours without needing rescue.

Captain's Log: Starfleet sent us an obsessive, workaholic, overprotective mother. I told them Dr. Crusher was already on board.

Marr: I've never trusted the Crystalline Entity, and I never will. I can never forgive it for the death of my boy.
Picard: Um, that's nice. Why don't you work with Data?
Marr: I've never trusted Data, and I never will. I can never --
Picard: Geez, leave already!

Captain's Log: Counselor Troi's professional opinion of Dr. Marr is that she's nuts.

Data: Doctor, I've been able to determine that the entity is crystalline.
Marr: Grrr. How do I know you're not in cahoots with it?
Data: Because everyone loves me.
Marr: Don't make me do my Pulaski impression.

Data: I bet we could find a pattern using hopscotched banana peels.
Marr: Since I'm biased against you, I disagree.
La Forge: Oh look. Data's right. Technobabble saved the day. Again.
Marr: Because of this discovery, I now love you like a son.

Marr: Here are the specs to kill the great, white whale-- heh, I mean, crystal.
Picard: Our first goal is communication.
Marr: It invades our space and we fall back. It eats entire worlds, and we fall back. Not again. The line must be drawn here! This far, no further! And I will make it pay for what it has done!
Picard: Issues much?
Marr: You're one to talk.

Data: I think we can communicate with the entity using pulses.
Marr: Why don't we just hail it like Lore did in "Datalore"?
Data: Oh, sure, if you want to be unoriginal.

Riker: Maybe we should destroy the Crystalline Entity.
Picard: You're out for revenge.
Riker: No, I'm not. I just want to destroy the Crystalline Entity for killing my romantic interest of the week. That's right, I said DESTROY! DESTROYDESTROYDESTROYDESTROYDESTROY!
Picard: Pfft. You don't hold a candle to me and my need for revenge.
Riker: "And he piled upon the whale's white hump, --"
Picard: Stop stealing my lines, loser.
Riker: Those weren't your lines. You were quoting Melville.
Picard: Shut up.

Marr: While we're conveniently together for some reason or another, talk like my boy.
Data: Aw, ma, do I have to?
Marr: No, no, with his voice, dummy. Read his personal logs with his voice.
Data: (as boy) "Boy's Log, Supplemental: I'm glad mom's finally gone. She was always bossing me around. Now I can do whatever I want and she can't stop me. Ha ha!"
Marr: Sniff. I love you too, son.

Worf: Snowflake incoming.
Enterprise: Bebop.
Picard: Is the rock steady?
La Forge: Yep. And it's sending something back to us.
Crystalline Entity: Cowabunga, dudes.

Marr: Let me send the Crystalline Entity something that sounds like feedback.
Enterprise: ScreeeEEEEEEEEEECH!
Crystalline Entity: BOOM!
Marr: Woah. Rock and roll.

Marr: Ha, I avenged my son's death. What would my son have said, Data?
Data: Actually, your son was a rock-hugger. He would've hated you for destroying it.
Marr: Shut up. Who asked you anyway?
(The Enterprise warps off at Ludicrous Speed)

THE END

Find more episode info in the Episode Guide.


Derek Dean is one of the contributors of Five-Minute Voyager, where sci-fi episodes are reduced to "fivers" of one-twelfth their original length.