FirstbornBy Derek Dean
Posted at December 25, 2004 - 7:34 PM GMT
See Also: 'Firstborn' Episode Guide
Worf: Yes. (ahem) When a boy becomes a man, he learns to -- STOP PLAYING WITH DOLLS!
Alexander: (to doll) Come on, Barbie. Let's go find Ken!
Worf: No! I want you to become a warrior.
Alexander: What do you think, Barbie? Oh, I couldn't agree more! Sorry, Father, but no.
Worf: My son doesn't want to learn the Klingon ways. And he's requesting Earring Magic Ken.
Picard: Maybe you should take him to the Klingon Doq rep celebration.
Worf: Good idea. Alexander will be beside himself when he learns we're going.
Crusher: What's going on?
Worf: This is a reenactment of the dreaded Molor's reign of terror; only one thing could stop him.
Crusher: A cavity?
K'mtar: Ha! I thwarted the assassination attempt!
Worf: Ha! I kicked their butts!
Alexander: Ha! I screamed like a little girl!
K'mtar: The attackers were sent from the Duras sisters. They dropped this knife.
Riker: I hope we find them spoon. If we don't, I'd never be able to forkgive myself.
K'mtar: Alexander is a good boy. I like him a lot.
Worf: Too bad he's not a warrior. And he still plays with dolls.
K'mtar: No, I don't. I mean -- no, he doesn't. I mean -- really? Too bad.
K'mtar: The Duras sisters are apparently hiding somewhere until Generations; I doubt we'll find them.
Riker: We can if we use an interseries cameo!
Quark: You called?
Riker: Yeah, where are the Duras sisters?
Quark: Kalla Three. They were teaming up with an El-Aurian scientist who was trying to get back to a Nexus by --
Riker: And this affects me how?
K'mtar: I've recreated the scene of Worf's attack so you can learn to do more than just scream.
Alexander: Well, I'm already halfway there! AAAHHHH!
K'mtar: Alexander, you need to learn to stop doing that.
La Forge: Alright. Where are the Duras sisters?
Gorta: In the Ufandi system selling magnecite to a Yridian. They're hoping to buy trilithium so they can --
La Forge: I don't recall asking you for your life story.
K'mtar: I'm worried about Alexander.
Worf: So am I. Maybe I should take away his dolls.
K'mtar: I meant his fighting skills. Maybe you should send him to a Klingon Academy.
Worf: I don't think a 21st century computer game is going to help.
Yridian: It was nice to meet you, now go away.
Riker: Just tell me where the Duras sisters are.
Yridian: Sure. They're off my starboard bow. They're trying to build a weapon that can blow up a star and --
Riker: You know, I'd love to stay and chat, but it's getting dark out, so goodbye.
B'etor: The knife emblem is with child!
Worf: The knife is pregnant?
Lursa: No, dummy, I am. But how did the knife know?
Worf: Maybe it figured it out all by itself. It's a pretty sharp knife.
Worf: You tried to kill my son!
K'mtar: No. I am your son!
Worf: No! That's not true! That's impossible!
K'mtar: Search your feelings. You know it to be true.
Worf: No, really. That's impossible. You're like fifty.
K'mtar: I came into the past to either train myself to be a Klingon warrior or to kill myself.
Worf: Temporal causality isn't one of your strong points, is it?
K'mtar: I think I just watched "Yesteryear" one time too many.
Alexander: Where did K'mtar go?
Worf: He had to leave. He said he couldn't face himself anymore.
Alexander: Will I ever see him again?
Worf: I guarantee it.
(The script for Generations gets written at Ludicrous Speed)
Derek Dean is one of the contributors of Five-Minute Voyager, where sci-fi episodes are reduced to "fivers" of one-twelfth their original length.