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The Trek Nation - Cause and Effect

Cause and Effect

By Kira
Posted at December 25, 2004 - 5:40 PM GMT

See Also: 'Cause and Effect' Episode Guide

La Forge: We're hit!
Riker: Oh, crud. Captain, we have to....
Picard: No. Data, do something as long as it's not whatever Riker suggests.
Data: Ha! Data 1, Riker 0!
Enterprise: KA-BLAM!

Captain's Log: See? We didn't just blow up! Ha! So there!

Data: Five aces. I win.
Riker: Data, are you cheating?
Data: Nah. I'm saving that for later.
Nurse Ogawa: (over the comm) Doctor, Geordi's whining again.
Crusher: Sigh. Tell me something I don't know.

Crusher: La de da de do.
Voices: You need singing lessons, lady.
Crusher: What the...?

Data: The sensors can't find anything. I believe the Doctor is nuts.
Picard: I concur.

Data: Let's do my idea.
Picard: Agreed.
Data: Ha! Data 2, Riker 0!
Riker: How did you get 2? You're not supposed to know that.
Enterprise: KA-BLAM!

Captain's Log: This area of space is unexplored, but somehow I have the feeling we'll be running into another Starfleet vessel.

Riker: Crapcrapcrapcrap...I mean, I raise you 50.
Crusher: You're bluffing.
Riker: Gasp! How did you know?

La Forge: Waaaah. My visor's all weird.
Crusher: This seems familiar....
La Forge: That's because I whine a lot.
Crusher: Yeah, but that's not it....

Crusher: I heard voices.
Picard: Could this have anything to do with those magic mushrooms you're growing in Sickbay?
Crusher: Well, I...aw, dammit.

Data: Your idea's stupid.
Riker: No, yours is!
Data: No, yours is!
Picard: Oh, enough already. Data's way smarter than you, Riker.
Data: Ha! Data 3, Riker 0!
Enterprise: KA-BLAM!

Captain's Log: WHEEE! Again! Again!

Crusher: Watch this -- a ten, a seven, and a Queen.
Data: And you thought I was cheating?
Crusher: Wait a minute. Ogawa, is Geordi whining again?
Ogawa: (over the comm) No.
La Forge: (over the comm) Waaaah! My visor's all weird.
Ogawa: I stand corrected.

Crusher: I heard voices in my quarters.
La Forge: (over the comm) Suuuuure. Cuckoo! Cuckoo!
Crusher: Stop that!

Data: The voices the Doctor heard were of people getting it on.
Picard: Could you tell who they belonged to?
Data: To us, sir.
Crusher: "Us" on the ship or "us" in this room?
Riker: Uh, Captain...does Data have to answer that?

La Forge: We're in a time loop, so doing anything is pointless because we've probably already tried it.
Picard: Nice try, you slacker. Find a way to send a message into the next loop.

Picard: Data, do your thing.
Data: Ha! Data 4, Riker 0!
Picard: This time for sure!
Enterprise: Hmm...nope. KA-BLAM!

Captain's Log: If a ship blows up in a time loop, does anybody care?

Crusher: Oo! Oo! I know what the cards are going to be. A ten, a seven, a Queen, and a joker.
Worf: We're not playing with jokers.
Crusher: Oh. Well, never mind then.

Data: We're getting what could be a message from the previous loop, but I think it's phony.
Picard: What does it say?
Data: "Listen to Riker."
Picard: That can't be right. Could you be missing a "don't" somewhere?

Data: Captain, let's do Riker's idea so he'll shut up.
(They avoid the oncoming ship)
Data: Ha! Data 5, Riker 1!
Riker: Hey! No fair! You're giving yourself a point when it was my idea that saved the ship!
Data: Yeah, but I'm the one who figured it out.
Riker: But...aw, crud.

Captain Bateson: You morons! You almost hit us!
Picard: Why should we care? That old rustbucket you're driving is no match for the Enterprise.
Bateson: The Enterprise? Oh my God! Kirk -- you've lost all your hair!
(The Enterprise and the Bozeman sail away at Ludicrous Speed)

THE END

Find more episode info in the Episode Guide.


Kira is one of the contributors of Five-Minute Voyager, where sci-fi episodes are reduced to "fivers" of one-twelfth their original length.