A Matter of TimeBy Kira
Posted at December 25, 2004 - 5:37 PM GMT
See Also: 'A Matter of Time' Episode Guide
Captain's Log: The Enterprise is en route to Penthara IV--
Riker: Say, "Penthara" sounds a lot like "Panther."
Troi: I wonder if it's pink.
Picard: What have I told you about interrupting my logs with inane comments?
Riker: What's the prognosis, Geordi?
La Forge: Sucks to be the Pentharans, sir.
Worf: Captain, I have detected a temporal distortion.
Picard: But this is a "save the planet" episode, not a "time travel" episode.
Worf: Perhaps it is both.
Picard: Nonsense, that's ridiculous.
Rasmussen: Hi! I'm from the future!
Picard: I don't believe you.
Rasmussen: What if I compare you to famous historical figures?
Picard: Welcome aboard, Professor.
Riker: How do we know he's telling the truth?
Picard: He compared me to Caesar and Lincoln.
Riker: Sir, they were both assassinated.
Picard: Jealousy won't get you anywhere, Number One.
Picard: We're going to try creating a greenhouse effect to raise the temperature on the surface.
Mosely: Won't it take a long time to build a greenhouse that big?
Picard: Er…I think I'll leave Commander La Forge here to assist you.
Riker: What exactly are you here to witness?
Rasmussen: Does it really matter? Unless I've stumbled on a Holodeck episode, something's bound to happen.
Enterprise: Zap! Zap!
Penthara IV: Ow! What was that for?
Volcanoes: You are so going to hear from me later.
Troi: I don't trust you.
Rasmussen: Uh oh. Can you sense that I'm lying?
Troi: No. Why do you ask?
Rasmussen: No reason.
La Forge: (over the comm) Captain, our firing on the planet made the situation worse.
La Forge: But there's a way to fix everything.
La Forge: If it goes wrong everyone will die.
La Forge: But if we do nothing they'll all die anyways.
La Forge: Sir?
Picard: Sorry, got into a groove there.
Rasmussen: Let me guess -- you want me to tell you what to do.
Picard: No, of course not. That would go against all my Starfleet principles. I want you to tell me what I did.
Rasmussen: What if you manipulate the timeline and people die?
Picard: Nonsense. I would never do anything that stupid and irresponsible.
Captain's Log: What the heck, let's try it. If all the colonists get vaporized, I'll blame it on some kind of Temporal Cold War.
Picard: There's no guarantee this will work.
La Forge: (over the comm) Captain, I'd like to remain on the planet.
Picard: Never mind, I take that back.
Rasmussen: I'm not really from the future.
Data: You are from the past?
Rasmussen: Yes, but I'm in the future.
Data: You said you were in the past.
Rasmussen: No, the owner of this ship was in the past. I'm in the future. Which is the present.
Data: My processors hurt.
Data: What do you hope to accomplish?
Rasmussen: I'm going to be the greatest inventor ever. Take this weapon, for example. I think I'll call it…a phase pistol. Let's see if it works….
Data: Ha! We've deactivated all your stolen stuff.
Rasmussen: Touché, Inspector Clouseau.
Rasmussen: Never mind.
(The ship vanishes)
Rasmussen: Oh no! I'm stuck here in the past! No, wait, the future! Er, I mean....
Picard: Guards, put this man in the brig.
Rasmussen: The brig? What for?
Picard: To do time, of course.
(The Enterprise sails away at Ludicrous Speed)
Kira is one of the contributors of Five-Minute Voyager, where sci-fi episodes are reduced to "fivers" of one-twelfth their original length.