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Yesteryear
Sep 2 - Keep up to date at TrekToday.com!
Trek Nation will no longer carry updated news

Aug 29 - Retro Review: Hero Worship
A young boy who is the sole survivor of a disaster that killed his parents decides to emulate Data.

Aug 21 - Retro Review: New Ground
Worf's human mother brings his son Alexander on board, insisting that she can no longer raise the boy.

Aug 14 - Retro Review: A Matter of Time
When a visitor from a future era arrives on the ship, Picard asks for assistance about how to save a dying planet.

July 31 - Retro Review: Unification, Part Two
Picard learns the reason for Spock's visit to Romulus: an attempted reunification of the Vulcan and Romulan races.

July 17 - Retro Review: Unification, Part One
Shocked to learn that Spock may have defected to the Romulans, Picard and Data cross the Neutral Zone in to find him.

July 10 - Retro Review: The Game
When an interactive game becomes addictive to the crew, Wesley Crusher and his new girlfriend must save the day.

June 20 - Retro Review: Disaster
Troi must take command of the ship while Picard struggles to work with three children and Worf delivers Keiko's baby.

June 6 - Retro Review: Silicon Avatar
A scientist pursuing the Crystalline Entity discovers that Data's brain holds her son's memories.

May 30 - Retro Review: Ensign Ro
A court-martialed Starfleet officer from occupied Bajor is sent to help locate a terrorist leader.

May 23 - Retro Review: Darmok
Picard is exiled with the leader of an alien race who speaks in incomprehensible metaphors.

May 15 - Retro Review: Redemption, Part Two
Picard discovers that Tasha Yar's Romulan daughter is influencing the Klingon civil war.

May 9 - Retro Review: Redemption, Part One
When Picard is asked as Arbiter of Succession to oversee Gowron's installation, Worf resigns from Starfleet to fight against the Duras family.

May 2 - Retro Review: In Theory
Data creates a romantic subroutine to experiment with love.

Apr 24 - Retro Review: The Mind's Eye
LaForge is kidnapped and altered by Romulans to take part in an assassination plot against a Klingon governor.

 
By IJD GAF
Posted at December 25, 2004 - 8:53 PM GMT

See Also: 'Yesteryear' Episode Guide

Captain's Log: Remember that planet where McCoy went back in time and messed everything up? Well this time, McCoy's not allowed to come along! Now nothing can possibly go wrong!

Guardian of Forever: Incoming!
Kirk: Yo.
Redshirt: Yo.
Spock: Greetings.
McCoy: Care to introduce me, Jim?

Spock: Greetings.
Scotty: Care to introduce me, Jim?
Thelin: Yo.
Kirk: All right, two similar scenes in a row...this can only be a time travel episode!
Spock: Of course it is; you just exited the Guardian of Forever. I think the problem is that nobody recognizes me.
Kirk: How do you know that they're not just pretending not to know you?
Spock: Because you're all so bad at that. If that were the case, people would be walking around whistling nonchalantly.

Kirk: Alright, let's get to the bottom of this. Computer, look through archives for all references to Spock.
Computer: Doctor Spock was a famous baby doc--
Spock: No, no, a Vulcan.
Computer: Oh, he died at age seven, and then his parents divorced, and then his mom died.
Spock: Well, if that wasn't a blow to my cool emotional control I don't know what is.

Spock: I hypothesize that it was not my effect on the past that altered it, but my lack of effect.
Kirk: English!
Spock: I was supposed to be saving my younger self; because I didn't, I died.
Kirk: You're saying that the only reason you're alive is because you now went back and saved you then?
Spock: Why do you think the Vulcan Science Council declared time travel illogical?

Spock: Guardian, show me the time that I want to go to.
Guardian: When I first appeared, I couldn't do that.
Spock: Well, when you first appeared, people on this planet weren't affected by timeframe changes; don't argue the continuity, just do it!
Guardian: Very well.
Spock: Wheeeeeeeeeee--

Selek: --eeeeeeeee! Wow, my name changed to fit the fake cousin I'm pretending to be. Take note, readers: Spock = young me, Selek = old me. Got it? Good.

Spock: Hello, my logical friends.
Vulcan kids: Friends? Get lost, twerp.
Spock: Grrr... ATTACK!
Kids: Jeez, lay off the emotion, will ya?
Spock: Aww, but you were displaying emotion too....
Kids: Yes, but we're allowed to because we're true Vulcans.
Spock: I can't wait till our logic classes begin....

Selek: Hello, Sarek. I'm your cousin.
Sarek: But my parents were both only children....
Selek: Second cousin?
Sarek: Nope.
Selek: Third?
Sarek: Nope.
Selek: Hmm, this could be a while.

Sarek: Spock, being Vulcan means following disciplines demanding on both the mind and body.
Spock: Is that why I have to wear this silly underwear and safety patrol badge?
Sarek: No, that's just because I resent you being half human.

Personal Log: I was supposed to undergo kahs-wan tomorrow, but it's scheduled for next month! This can only mean a change in the timeline --
Spock: No, I-Chaya. You can't run away with me early to face the trials; I'm doing it alone.
--or just that I have extremely lousy memory for a Vulcan.

Spock: Go home, I-Chaya! What do you want this to turn into, Old Yeller?
I-Chaya: Ruff!
Spock: Oh, no! "Ruff"? What do you want to turn into, Porthos!?
I-Chaya: Whimper.
Spock: Attagirl.

Sarek: I'm going to call the cops on that Selek guy. He's weird, don't you think? I bet he was a real loser when he was a kid.
Amanda: Funny, I just figured he must've had a lousy father figure.

Spock: Run, it's Godzilla!
Le-Matya: Nah, I just have the same roar. eeYARRugh!
I-Chaya: Ruff!
Selek: Banzai!
Spock: Lemme see here..."AHH!", "Beat it," and "Thanks" should do.

Selek: Kid, here's some advice. Don't be a brat, don't do drugs, and when you encounter a girl named T'ennae in senior year, don't be shy; you won't regret it.
Spock: How do you know these things?
Selek: Er... hey look, your pet sehlat is dying.
Spock: I'm not falling for that one....
I-Chaya: GAK!
Spock: Crap.

Personal Log: I don't remember I-Chaya dying...hmm, maybe I should take some Ginkgo Biloba.

Spock: Dang...I ran all the way here, I need your help to save my sehlat!
Healer: How do I know you aren't playing a joke?
Spock: Jokes are illogical.
Healer: Like that's gonna work on me....
Spock: What if I told you that you could have some sehlat meat if he dies?
Healer: I'm convinced; let's go.

Selek: Ah, help arrives.
I-Chaya: Whimper.
Healer: Too late; shall I put him to sleep?
Spock: It is fitting he dies peacefully; do what you will.
Healer: Excellent... on another note, would you two be interested in a chili cookout tonight?

Sarek: So, you aren't some creepy Vulcan pedophile after all.
Selek: Be more grateful, I saved your son you know....
Sarek: Eh, I'm not touched enough to let him wear real clothes yet.
Selek: Anyway, I've got to go now, and get rid of this silly Suliban-like name. Peace.

Guardian: Incoming!
Spock: --eeeee! Did it work?
Kirk: Did what work? Who are you?
Spock: It's me, Spock.
Kirk: (whistles nonchalantly)
(The Enterprise warps off at Ludicrous Speed)

THE END

Find more episode info in the Episode Guide.


IJD GAF is one of the contributors of Five-Minute Voyager, where sci-fi episodes are reduced to "fivers" of one-twelfth their original length.

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