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The Trek Nation - For the Uniform

For the Uniform

By Derek Dean
Posted at December 25, 2004 - 4:14 PM GMT

See Also: 'For the Uniform' Episode Guide

Sisko: Who's there? Who are you?
Voice: Who am I? Can I conceal myself forevermore? Pretend I'm not the man I was before?
Sisko: Are you just going to keep on asking questions?
Eddington: Who am I? I'm Eddington!
Sisko: Crap.

Eddington: Look down and see the beggars at your feet.
Sisko: Actually, they're on the other side of this glass.
Eddington: Whatever. I'm leaving, don't follow me.

Sisko: Can you follow Eddington, Sanders?
Sanders: (over the holo-comm) Sure can. By the way, aren't these new holo-communicators cool?
Sisko: Yeah, I'm sure we'll see people using these things all the time now.

Kira: Eddington's ship is making a run right for us.
Sisko: Mr. Worf, fire.
Worf: The Maquis ship is undamaged.
Sisko: It couldn't have adapted that quickly....
Kira: It didn't. All of the ship's computers crashed.
Sisko: Ah, I was wondering when space had suddenly become blue.

Sisko: So how long is it going to take to reinstall all the software on the Defiant?
O'Brien: Well, if someone named Sisko hadn't asked me to use the space reserved for the Defiant's backups to store holo-baseball games, one day more. As it is, two weeks.
Sisko: Grrr. Jake and I are going to have a little talk.

Sanders: I've got some bad news. Starfleet is promoting me to Colonel and charging me with bringing in Eddington.
Sisko: I didn't think Colonel was a valid rank in Starfleet.
Sanders: What about Colonel West?
Sisko: What does Odo have to do with anything?

Kira: Eddington just poisoned a planet.
Sisko: What!
Kira: Eddington just --
Sisko: I heard you the first time! Let's take the Defiant out to stop him.

O'Brien: Maybe you missed that "two weeks" estimate, but the Defiant's kinda broken.
Sisko: So what does work?
O'Brien: Nog, but he's not technically part of the ship.
Sisko: A couple of well-placed staples and we can fix that problem.

Sisko: Go to warp 6.
Nog: Engine room, go to warp 6.
Kira: Maquis raider ahead. Slow to impulse.
Nog: Engine room, slow to impulse.
Eddington: (over the holo-comm) Why are you still trying to catch me?
Nog: Engine room, why are you still trying to catch -- er, whoops.

Eddington: (over the holo-comm) Here, I've got a gift for you. It's Les Mis.
Sisko: You mean, Les Miserables, the Victor Hugo novel?
Eddington: No, the musical. The only miserables in the novel are the ones reading it.

Sanders: (over the holo-comm) We were attacked by Eddington. We're stuck here.
Sisko: Stuck here? You should still be out there looking for Eddington!
Sanders: Perhaps you misunderstand. Our ship is crippled. We're dead in space.
Sisko: What's the matter, Colonel Sanders -- chicken?

Sisko: Did you get a chance to analyze the message Sanders intercepted from Eddington?
Odo: (over the holo-comm) Yeah, just a simple Breen nursery rhyme, "Rock-a-bye baby in the frozen tree top."
Sisko: So how does that help us?
Odo: It ends "When the brittle bough snaps, the cradle will slide, and the Maquis will rendezvous at Portas Five."

Kira: We're too late. This planet's also been poisoned. I've -- Hey, look! There's Eddington!
Eddington: (over the holo-comm) I'm giving you a choice. Either you can catch me or you can save all the Cardassians from crashing.
Sisko: Since I'm the hero, I should be able to do both just to spite you.
Eddington: Did you miss our Les Mis scene? I'm the hero.
Sisko: Crap.

Sisko: Eddington thinks of himself as the hero. Now what does every hero want to do?
Dax: Get the girl.
Sisko: Besides that.
Dax: Make witty comments?
Sisko: Surrender, Dax! The hero wants to surrender! Have you learned nothing from Picard?

Sisko: Mr. Worf, attach trilithium to our torpedoes and patch me through on Maquis frequencies.
Worf: Are we blowing up a sun, sir?
Sisko: No, that would just be heartless. (ahem) Attention all Maquis, we are going to poison all your planets.

Eddington: (over the holo-comm) You're not really going to poison the planet, are you?
Sisko: Well, I won't if you surrender.
Eddington: All right. I'll surrender.
Sisko: YES! And now that I have you back in my custody, let me just say you're fired!
Worf: Firing torpedoes. Wait, did you just say --? Oops.

Station's Log: Do you hear the people sing? Singing that I've caught Eddington?

Dax: Aren't you afraid Starfleet's going to bust you back to Cadet for poisoning the planet?
Sisko: Nah, I've got a "Get Out of Jail Free" card.
(The station spins at Ludicrous Speed)

THE END

Find more episode info in the Episode Guide.


Derek Dean is one of the contributors of Five-Minute Voyager, where sci-fi episodes are reduced to "fivers" of one-twelfth their original length.