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Site Columns

By Amy
January 21, 2001 - 3:13 PM

Hello World!

Today I discovered how easily amused I am. Not that this should really have come as a surprise. At any rate, while flicking through various pages today, I came across the following link, which took me to one of those name generator things. It's actually a little promotional stunt to run by express.com to promote the release of acclaimed series 'The Sopranos' to DVD – it lets your find out your 'mob name'. I don't watch the Sopranos, unfortunately – I'd like to, but I never seemed to be around when it was on. I'm not even sure if it's airing here at the moment – I don't think it is. At any rate, I amused myself for quite some time at this site, inputting the names of various people to see what the nicknames generated for them would be. Some of them were absolutely hilarious, like "Chimpy Nuts", which would be my brother, or my dear co-editor, who is apparently" Gandhi Mangler". Thus inspired, I entered a few more names… and I found the results to be rather amusing. See for yourself:

  • Kate Mulgrew as Kathryn "The Compass" Janeway
  • Robert Beltran as Chakotay "The Xerox"
  • Tim Russ as "The Butcher" Tuvok
  • Robert Picardo as The "Thinks-he's-so-smart" Doctor/ Dr. Lewis "The Delicious" Zimmerman
  • Jeri Ryan as Seven "Dreamboat" of Nine
  • Garret Wang as Harry "Danger-Prone" Kim
  • Robert Duncan McNeill as Tom "The Heartbreaker" Paris
  • Roxann Dawson as B'Elanna "The Lone Drinker" Torres
  • Jennifer Lein as Kes "Frankenberry"
  • Scarlett Pomers as Namoi "Hair Lip" Wildman
  • Manu Intiraymi as "Kids Incorporated" Icheb
  • Dwight Schultz as Reginald "Childlike Complexion" Barclay
  • Marina Sirtis as Deanna "Extra Arm" Troi
  • Martha Hackett as Seska "The Funny Moustache"
  • Rick "Sweet Nostrils" Berman
  • Kenneth "Weed Wacker" Biller
  • Brannon "Pants" Braga Ok, so I'm easily amused… That's not a crime, is it?

    -Amy "The Mannequin" Hightower

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