Site ColumnsBy Michelle
May 16, 2004 - 4:52 PM
Probably when Caillan writes the next site columns, he will have many intelligent critical comments to make about Troy -- Wolfgang Petersen's adaptation of The Iliad, minus the gods and ship catalogues. Ancient studies are, after all, his area of expertise.
I haven't even seen Troy yet, but I do have a critical comment to make about it. It's not concern that the screenplay seems to have played fast and loose with Homer (Patroclus as Achilles' younger cousin? The war taking considerably less than a decade? The walls of Troy bearing a suspicious resemblance to the walls of Helm's Deep?) It's not fretting about the Gladiator-ripoff soundtrack. It's something along the lines of, "Ohhh squee Sean Bean Eric Bana Orlando Bloom Brad Pitt Peter O'Toole in leather miniskirts!"
Um, yeah. Because Helen? She's pretty, but as a face to launch a thousand ships, Orlando is prettier. And all those little miniatures in the CGI bathtub? Very nice, but no comparison with Pitt in armor. And the clash of blades? The heck with it, just give me Sean Bean's voice; he could be reading the phone book.
Next week perhaps I will have something intelligent to say about the movie. Right now I am just looking at photos of all these lovely tanned people and thinking wow, we have reached the age of equality, when Brad Pitt's gym-sculpted Greek godliness is about as attainable for most men as Jolene Blalock's perky Vulcanness is for most women.
Trek BBS Today
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Trek Two Years Ago
These were some of the major news items from May 2002:
- 'Shockwave' Promo Released
Paramount released the trailer for the 'Enterprise' season finale, in which Daniels returned to warn Archer of a new Suliban threat.
- Executives Reveal UPN's New Outlook
CBS and UPN executives said they would make UPN a 'well-defined brand' with a 'clear direction for the future' appealing to adults 18-49.
- 'The Lost Era' Book Series Announced
Pocket Books promised to chart the unexplored period of Star Trek history between shows.
More news can be found in the archives.
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Today's Television Listings
Wednesday night at 8:00 p.m. Eastern Time, UPN will show a new episode of Enterprise, "Countdown". Here's a synopsis of the episode:
Archer and the Xindi plot to destroy the doomsday device possessed by the Earth-hating Reptilians, who try to brainwash Hoshi into deciphering its code.