March 28 2024

TrekToday

An archive of Star Trek News

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By Lisa
December 9, 2001 - 11:54 PM

Hello World!

After surfing the net for hours of research, I have come to the conclusion that the following are the world's worst jokes. Read further at your own risk.

Q: How did the dead monkey cross the road? A: It was stapled to the chicken!


These two strings go into a bar, and ask for a drink. The bartender says, "Hey, I don't serve your kind here, you're just a couple of strings!" One of the strings ties his ends together and says, "Frayed knot!"


1. What did the grape say when the elephant sat on it? Nothing. It just let out a little wine.


2. What has 16 legs, a bra and whistles thru the woods? Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.


3. What did Cinderella say when her pictures didn't arrive? "Some day my prints will come..."


4. Which is correct? Yolks of eggs are white, or yolks of eggs is white? Neither. Yolks of eggs are yellow.

Trek BBS Today

Below are some of the topics currently being discussed at the Trek BBS:

-Should Trek concentrate more on its younger audience?

-We met Archer's father so where's his mother?

-What issues would you like to see Enterprise tackel?

More topics can be found at the Trek BBS!

Today's Television Listings

  • TNN will be showing the Next Genration episodes 'Haven' at 3:00 p.m eastern time, 'We'll Always have Paris' at 4:00, 'Manhunt' at 5:00, 'The Host' at 6:00 p.m, and 'In Theory' at 7:00 p.m.

  • In the United Kingdom, Sky One will show the DS9 episode 'Shadowplay' at 14:00 GMT, with 'Playing God' at 15:00 and 'Profit and Loss' at 16:00. Thanks go out to the Great Link for this!

Tomorrow's Television Listings

  • TNN will be showing the Next Generation episodes 'Pen Pals' at 8:00 p.m and 'Hollow Pursuits' at 11:00 p.m eatsern time.

  • The Sci-Fi Channel will be showing the Original Series episode 'Mirror, Mirror' at 6:00 p.m eastern time.

  • In Canada, Space! will be showing the Original Series episode 'Patterns of Force' at 10:00 a.m and 2:00 p.m eastern time followed by the Next Generation episode 'Shades of Gray' at 3:00 p.m, DS9's 'Penumbra' at 4:00 p.m and Voyager's 'Endgame Part 1' at 5:00 p.m eastern time.

  • In the United Kingdom, E4 will show the Original Series episode 'The Squire of Gothos' at 14:00 and 18:00 GMT. Sky One will show Voyager's 'Eye of the Needle' at 17:00, with DS9's 'Defiant' at 20:00, 'The Adversary' at 21:00 and 'Rocks and Shoals' at 22:00. Thanks go out to the Great Link for this!

  • In the Netherlands, RTL5 will show DS9's 'Tribunal' at 18:00 ECT, while NET5 will show Voyager's 'The Swarm' at 18:30. Thanks go out to StarTrek.nl for this!

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