Site Columns By Caillan
May 8, 2002 - 11:18 AM

Hello World!

As faithful readers of TrekToday, I thought I'd do the right thing and alert you to my Evil Plan (TM), as communicated to me by the Oracle at Delphi, so you'll have time to run and take cover in your Panic Rooms (Jodie Foster not included).

Your objective is simple: World Domination.

Your motive is a little bit more complex: Sadistic pleasure

Stage One
To begin your plan, you must first kidnap a rich and powerful CEO. This will cause the world to whisper among themselves, frightened by your arrival. Who is this despoiler of all that is good and nice and true? Where did they come from? And why do they look so good in battle armor?

Stage Two
Next, you must destroy the Pyramids of Giza. This will all be done from a underground secret headquarters of doom, a mysterious place of unrivaled dark glory. Upon seeing this, the world will spontaneously combust, as countless hordes of mean English teachers hasten to do your every bidding.

Stage Three
Finally, you must tauntingly wave your opening of the seven seals, bringing about a 1984 police state. Your name shall become synonymous with slaughter, and no man will ever again dare roll his or her eyes. Everyone will bow before your unbreakable will, and the world will have no choice but to send you all their money.

You better watch out for those hordes of English teachers! Create your own evil plan here.

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